Divrei Moshe

Not only did I stand for the Cheif Rabbi....but I kissed him!

2006-11-27T00:57:00.000+02:00

But he came over to me and I got to kiss his hands! WOW!

I did not stand for Olmert. Was I wrong?

2006-11-24T02:55:00.000+02:00

Last evening, I had the privilege of participating in the OU Convention in Jerusalem. It was great to see many of my old friends, colleagues and supporters. I was there in an informal capacity for my new work and dinners and conventions are what I do best. But I found myself in a very interesting position. The OU brings people from across North America and Canada to Israel. Dignitary after dignitary welcomed the OU conventioneers and delegates to Israel. But I live here so they were not welcoming me. And when the talk was about encouraging Aliya, well, we did that! But that’s not what I am thinking about.

Because the OU in the largest Orthodox Jewish organization many politicians are invited to extend greetings. They Mayor of Jerusalem, Chief Rabbis, Former Ambassadors to the UN, heads of the Jewish Agency among a distinguished list. It has also been the tradition and quite appropriate, for the Prime Minister to extend greetings as well. The security was intense and there was a lot of discussion as to the reception Prime Minister Olmert would receive. It would be cold. It should be cold. You can read about it here. I for one was thinking of walking out. Or maybe, I would yell something out. But I’m not one to make a scene. It’s not my style. Plus, there were some very large bald men, with dark sunglasses, with wires coming out of their ears (my father always says they dress this way to look inconspicuous) positioned around the room ready to pounce on intruders and protesters.

Now Olmert is the elected leader of a democracy, our democracy. I can’t figure out how the guy got elected but that’s not for now. He may or may not have the status of a melech/king and there are halachik issues regarding seeing a king or in this case, a head of state. One might say a bracha/blessing but I was not going to do that. Out of respect one should stand in his presence but I decided in the moment, that I as not going to do that either. I may have been wrong. If I could have called a posek at that moment, I may have received the answer that I should stand. But in that moment, I could not bring myself to stand in his honor or out of respect. People around me stood. I did not. And I did not clap either. It would have been hypocritical to the way I feel.

Someone came over to me after the PM finished and said they noticed my silent protest and wanted to know why. And I shared the following with him. And as I said this and I as I write this, tears well up in my eyes.

We made Aliya 3+ years ago. We came to this country, our country by choice to enhance our Jewish life and the life our children. We know there would be sacrifices, we prepared and we continue to prepare for them. We have no regrets and we have a wonderful life here. Please G-d our oldest child, and our only son will graduate high school this year. Some time in the near future (after Mechina or Hesder) he will have the distinguished honor to serve in the Israel Defense Force. To defend our homeland our people and our future. He is eager to enlist. He is willing to serve.

Please understand that the source of his enthusiasm does not come from the hatred of our enemy, but because he has love for this land. From that love is where we derive our strength.

It has been the tradition of the IDF since its inception to give parents the assurance that no matter what happens, no matter what the price, they will always bring our boys home. The IDF has always assured parents of our brave boys that if G-d forbid, they pay the ultimate sacrifice; Israel will always be their final home. If my son goes to war, and G-d forbid something happens, I need to trust that everything will be done to bring him home. I don’t trust that Olmert honors this important fundamental principal of our country. 3 of our boys are missing. We went to war to bring them home and we did not finish the job. We lost many of our boys, to many of our boys in this battle and we did not finish the job. 3 of our boys are still missing. Alive or dead and we have not brought them home. I know enough about the diplomatic process to know that there is more going on than we see, hear and know about. But Kassams are falling on S’darot, 100 this week alone! And no response! Nasralla claims victory and Hezbola is rearming in the north. And there are mothers, fathers, siblings and wives who want their boys to be brought home. As a father, I’ll respect and trust the person who brings them home, their ultimate home. When my son goes off to war, that will give me strength.

Try and believe in things that may seem impossible

2006-11-07T15:02:00.000+02:00

Back in April of 2006, I embarked on an incredible journey, to ride in the Alyn Wheels of Love Bike Challenge from Jerusalem to Eilat. A 5 day, 460km ride to raise money for the children of the Alyn Hospital. Alyn is a pediatric rehabilitation hospital that treats victims of terror, car accidents, handicapped children, children with birth defects and a multitude of other types of traumas. Alyn treats Arab and Israeli children equally and is the only hospital of its kind in Israel. Each Wheels of Love participant must commit to raising $2k in sponsorships.

There were several factors that initiated my involvement. First, several of my friends from the Yeshuv have participated in past years and have loved the experience. Second, when I was recruiting for the seminary (which I am not doing anymore) Miri D., a prospective student wanted to ride in the Alyn. I initially tried to discourage her because I did not want her to miss 5 days of school. When she persisted and made a great case for herself, I told her that the only way she would be able to participate, was if I rode along with her. So, I registered for the ride. Initially, I was put on the waiting list but I got in after 2 weeks and began to train.

On my first ride, I rode around the Yeshuv 3 times. It is about 2Km if you go around the entire Yeshuv. When I got home after 6km, I could not move, I was in pain, out of breath and I knew that I was in big trouble!

The Alyn ride is a physical and emotional challenge. I joked when I signed up that if Eilat was South, the ride would be down hill! But I had been told that the route I was taking (on road) would be riding 100km per day. Most days would be with intense and sustained climbs. If I could not ride around the Yeshuv 3 times, how could I possibly do this? I was frustrated, discouraged… and out of shape!

I spoke to my friends, did a lot a research, invested in some new gear and tried to understand how, what and where would be the best way to train. My friends gave me great advice and encouragement. From what to eat, drink, how to stretch (before and after), hill work, saddle (seat) position and gear management. I learned a tremendous amount from them and from my research and began to apply it to my riding. Slowly, my daily and weekly rides got longer. The hills that seemed to be up hill both ways became more manageable and less painful. Over time, I increased my riding from 6-10km, 10-20km. 20-40km and eventually, I was riding a route that took me thru Moddin, up to Latrun to Ramla (no, not Ramalla!) up to Lod and back to Chashmoniam…55KM! I was feeling good, stronger and as a benefit that I did not even count on, I was losing weight.

Fast-forward to the end of October. I trained hard over the past months and I felt prepared. But there is always a fear of the unknown. Could I handle an 18km sustained climb? I know that I could handle 55km… but what happens after that? We would have to wait and see. I was excited but anxious.

The day of the ride –Something I was not prepared for.

Shabbat before the ride there was an electric feeling on the Yeshuv. 18 riders from Chashmonaim were to participate. My friend Yehuda made his special herring for our Shabbat kiddush to increase out Cabro intake! But something I had not counted on happened. It was raining. It is hard to complain about something we pray for, but I had not trained at all in the rain. I trained in the intense heat of the summer, but there is no rain in Israel from Aril, until NOW. I had no rain gear and had not ridden on a wet surface….this I was not prepared for.

The night before the ride I could not sleep. We had our own minyan at 5:15am and then we had to be at the bus at 6:am sharp. It was drizzling. Maybe the rain would hold up I thought. We took the bus into Jerusalem to Mt Scopus and met up with our bikes. It was now pouring. I was cold and soaking wet. I was so wet & cold that during the open ceremony I found an unlocked parked and sat in the back seat! I was not comfortable. After the ceremony, we finally pushed off at 8:45 for a cold, wet, slippery ride down to the Dead Sea where I was told it would not be raining and the temperature would be warmer. Something to look forward to I thought. When I hit the first hill at Ma’ale Adumim I was so excited to pedal hard…at this point it was not to see if I could do it, but rather, it was my first chance to WARM UP!

This is our rout and a few pictures from the 1st day.

As you can see, we went from Jerusalem to the lowest point on Earth. The Dead Sea. But as I learned very quickly during training, when you go down, you need to climb back out!

This was taken at sea level. You can see on the chart above exactly where that was taken and if you can see from the picture, how wet, cold and filthy I was as well.

The next 2 pictures are with my friends Mark Simon and Yehuda Laufer. They were my training partners and were a great help to me as I prepared for the ride.

In the next picture, I am blow-drying my clothes! They got soaked 'in' my luggage. Our suitcases were delivered to each of our destinations every day. But because of the rain, our luggage was left out in the morning for some time, before it was loaded onto the truck. A minor inconvenience. Now I can no longer say that I have never used a hair dryer! And finally, the magnificent sunset as seen from Ein Gedi

Day 2: We began in Ein Gedi and ended in the city of Dimona, the 3rd largest city in the Negev. We had much better weather, in fact it was beautiful. We had minyan at 5:30 and we were on the road my 7am. Day 2 was the hardest climbing day of the ride. With a climb from 350 meters below sea level to 550 meters above before lunch. As you can see from the chart, at one point there was a sustained 18km climb. With a gradient average between 8-15%. Your mind and body play tricks on you. They tell you that you cant do this. Get off and walk…. You have to confront that hard. Otherwise, we would just give up.
I found myself battling my own will. But, we pedal away, we think of the kids at Alyn and we ride on. And when we reach the top, ahh, the feeling. I can do this! The topography was magnificent. Majestic desert mountains and valleys that pictures can not do any justice. This is an example of the simple and pure beauty of Eretz Yisreol.

We left Dimona for what was “supposed” to have been an easy day but strong headwinds and a few sand storms made progress very difficult. We passed and stopped in to Sde Boker and the home and gravesite of the first Prime Minister Of Israel, Ben Gurion. We stopped for lunch in the Nabatean town of Avdat, which was the spice route from Arabia to the Mediterranean. I learnt something very important. When an Israeli guide says that it will be an easy day with a few hills, don’t believe him! As you can see from the chart, this was not an easy day. With several major climbs, and many, many kilometers of nothingness. Our group spanned an 8km stretch I found myself in the front of the group and very often, not being able to see anyone around in front or behind.
The lyrics to the Song from America came to mind often:
“After three days in the desert fun
I was looking at a riverbed
And the story it told of a river that flowed
Made me sad to think it was dead

You see I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
cause there aint no one for to give you no pain”

The desert is a very desolate place. But there is lots of life that we do not see, but know that it is there. We were riding thru a bubble, almost like an IMAX. It seemed surreal. And when you are alone, in the desert, and your pumping away, and trying to make it to “the other side," it gives you a real chance to think about how lucky we are that we are alive. We ended our day in Mitzpe Ramon and stayed at a youth hostel on the edge of the Ramon Crater, the largest of the Negev craters.

A few things we saw that most people dont see every day, if ever!

And yes, we rode through this sand storm. I had sand in my ears, my teeth, everywhere!

Day 4 was another hard day. I think because I may have been physically finished. I had been in the saddle 3 days and had seen a lot of mountains and a lot of desert. I had enough eating cooscoos and sleeping on foam mattresses. I missed SB and the kids. I also think we could have made it to Eilat in 3 days. But for the experience, they made a 5 day trip. So in my mind, I was finished. But, we still had another 2 days to pedal. So, we pedal on. The ride into the Machtesh (crater) was a real thrill as you can see from the chart, the ride in was steep and fast. My top speed was 65km! But yes, as we know, when you go down, you’ll eventually have to go up again! During the ride down and thru the crater we could see geological formations unlike anywhere else in the world. We made our way to the Paran ascent (a 1km hill with an 18%+ grade) and onwards to the Arava Valley. This is Syrian African rift. A gigantic fault line running from Turkey to Uganda. It was another very windy day. And desert wind can be fierce. It may look like we’re going down hill but it certainly did not feel that way. I pedaled hard the entire day. We ended in Kibbutz Ketura which is another name for Hagar, Avraham’s concubine. The kibbutz was great. They made us a BBQ feast with hamburgers, hotdogs and chicken. I ate like a horse!

Day 5 was exciting. Especially since we had a great meal the night before. We all knew what the end of the day would bring. We all just wanted to get there. Since we had pushed so hard on day 4, when I got up in the morning, I was not quite sure what to expect. Could I make another 100km today? I have to, we’re almost home! We have to do it for the kids. So, we got up at 5am, daavened, breakfast and on the road by 7am, again! We rode along the Egyptian border and could even see the Egyptian soldiers. It was up hill for the most part of the first 70km. Then a mega down hill, then a mega climb and then 18km decent into Eilat. This decent was a thrill and was extremely scary as I reached a top speed of 71.6km! Most amazing was that first glimpse of the blue waters of the Red Sea. There was an electric feeling as we descended into Eilat. People were singing and yelling. All of the different groups met up and converged into Eilat together. It was an amazing sight. All the riders, almost 420 of them who confronted this amazing challenge to help out little children. There were riders who were blind, (on tandems) riders who had prosthetic limbs and themselves, survivors of terror attacks.

In all over 2.5 million will be raised for Alyn. I am proud and thankful to all the people who helped me raise 10K. I heard one of the physical therapist of Alyn say, “We make a living by what we get and we make a life by what we give.” Several months ago, this would have been impossible for me. But I have always been told to try and believe in things that may seem impossible. Follow your dreams and dream the impossible dream, my father would always say. It is what we do for these kids every day. I am blessed by a supportive family who loves me and has supported my decision to ride and train for Alyn. They put up with my intense training and this new hobby. They encouraged my every ride, always asked me how far I went and how I felt after each ride. And they were never ashamed of how their father looked in spandex!

I am grateful for HaShem for putting me on this earth, for allowing me to reside and see His great Land and for giving me the physical and emotional strength to experience it in this profound way.

I will be uploading the rest of the pictures on our family web site www.solomontfamily.com

Thank you for reading. If you would still like to make a contribution to alyn, click on this link and then on the link above my picture, Sponsor this Rider.

Yes, Its been a while -But this is for somthing good

2006-08-16T01:10:00.000+03:00

Since arriving in Israel three years ago, I have felt a strong need to get involved and do something to help with the matzav/situation. Unfortunately, when we made aliyah, I was already too old to join even the reserves of the IDF! Aside from contributing funds to and volunteering for important organizations, delivering food to our chayalim/soldiers and visiting families and victims of terror, I wanted to do more.

Please G-d, I will joining 375+ people from across the globe in “The Wheels of Love”, a 5-day, 350 km bike ride from Jerusalem to Eilat to benefit the Alyn Hospital. Alyn is Israel’s only comprehensive pediatric and adolescent rehabilitation center and one of the world’s leading specialists in active and intensive rehabilitation for children. Children with congenital and/or acquired conditions, victims of car, domestic accidents and terror attacks, head trauma, and cancer are treated at the hospital.

My personal goal is to raise $5,000. I would like to give you the opportunity to participate in this mitzvah by sponsoring me on this ride and making a contribution. Any donation, large or small, will be significant. You can make a donation directly to Alyn Hospital and help Israel in a meaningful and very personal way. All donations are tax-deductible and can be made over the internet via I will be notified of all on-line donations.

I would like to thank you in advance for your participation in this worthy cause and partnering with me in this mitzvah. Together we will make a significant impact on the lives of the physically challenged children of the Alyn Hospital, whose struggles for independence and mobility are not just for the five days of the ride - but are constant! Feel free to pass this letter on to anyone who might share your enthusiasm.

With blessings from the Holy Land,

Check out my personal page on the Alyn Web Site

A post in honor of my celebrity friend Dani B.

2005-11-02T10:07:00.000+02:00

I know that Dani would get a kick out of this. I'm not one to talk but I have never seen such numbers! Amazing journalism.

This is one of my favorites

2005-10-20T11:08:00.000+02:00

Some sights from a wondering Jew

2005-10-16T22:40:00.000+02:00

During my travels, I come across many things that are just too hard to describe. Most often, it is very lonely and sad that I don’t have anyone to share some of these thoughts and sights with anyone. I try very hard to describe what I expirence on my calls home, but words alone can not do justice to the long drives, waiting at the airport or painfully long and boring plane rides. So, with the help of my new Treo 650, I thought it might be interesting to share some of things I see, and my thoughts as I expirence them. If I let you in my head for a few moments you’ll see that it can be a scary place. It is amazing what one does, to amuse at least myself when I travel. Unfortunately, it is still hard to catch everything. But here is a smattering from my last trip, which took me from Israel to Newark. Then on to Milwaukee. From Milwaukee to St. Louis and then a drive to Kansas City, KS. From KC on to Vancouver, BC.

I kid you not. This was on a tombstone at the Missouri Veterans Cemetery, Higginsville, Lafayette County, Missouri. Go Sox!

A house in Vancouver. Decorated against the disengagement...probably not. Just a bad color choice?

The Chabadnicks love this Air Canada flight. Personally, I did not enjoy it. They lost my luggage and did not have my Kosher food. Where is salvation when you need it

Better off in Israel

At the Confederate Cemetery, Higginsville, Lafayette County, Missouri. Ever ask yourself...... What is your legacy?

10 bucks if you can pronounce the city in the middle

Green in Williamsburg. No, not NY

Another reason not to drive in Missouri

You know your a red neck.....

On the road again

2005-09-09T00:29:00.000+03:00

Milwaukee, WI
St. Louis, MO
Kansas City, KS
Vancouver, BC
Teaneck, NJ
Allentown, PA
New York, NY

In 8 days....I may be tired when I return. Untill then Have a great week

Tha sad bottom line: People just dont care about poor blacks in Louisiana

2005-09-08T23:35:00.000+03:00

I was in the US last week when Katrina hit. I left the night before the levy broke and before the storm had come far enough north that it would have delayed my flight. But the one thing I kept saying, and please don’t think I sound like racist, I am not, I felt that the pre-response would have been greater and proactive had it been in some hotsy totsy city.

It still sounds to me, that the greatest lamentable tragedy is the loss of so many homes from fires in the historic districts! This is a low-income area of color (that’s Black People) that no one really gives a dam about. It is a sad thing. The recent developments of finding 30 nursing home residents apparently left and abandoned by their staff to drown. Yes, this just may be preliminary report, and I am sure there is another side. But the sad big fat bad bottom line is that we will learn that these frail residents were left to die because others chose to save their skin and no one was there providing support and oversight and the no one would give a hoot. No one knew that everyone had left!

In the late 80’s and early 90’s I was a licensed Nursing Home Administrator. I administered homes and offered consulting on State and Federal regulatory compliance for over 60 nursing facilities and hospitals across Boston and the New England area. To learn about these frail elders left to die, in this way is just appalling. What we used to do to save lives.....and make people comfortable.

We had hurricanes, blizzards, fires and we always had emergency contingency plan for every scenario. We would practice these drills with local safety authorities 3 times per year, including total evacuation scenarios. It was mandatory that all senior personal would need to sleep in the nursing home, in their offices, on couches and on floors. Our residents were going to be safe. They were our highest priority, we made them safe.

30 people drowning is a flagrant sign of poor planning abuse and neglect…and truthfully, Yesm, It’s a horror, but in that big world out there, no one really cares about these people.

5 Blacks shot on a bridge carrying guns. Did they deserve to be shot at and killed, by police? Probably! But the last time 5 blacks were killed did anyone say boo? No one cares! Yes, there is a lot going on that we can see or hear. But it certainly reeks to me of more than just the putrid remains of New Orleans.

My Son went to Gush Katif -Not to Protest. I am very proud of him

2005-09-07T23:30:00.000+03:00

He is not interested in being politically correct. These are in his own words:

Aaaahhhh. So I was in gush Katif today it was crazy. We were just going down on the road in gush Katif to wherever were going and there were just hundreds of yards of greenhouses that were empty. They just had the little hoses hanging down and everything but there were no plants or anything in there. It looked likee a ghost town and everything. Then we got to the yishuv where the farm is and we were going through the yishuv and there were just piles of cement and parts of roofs and pipes strewn everywhere from the knocked down houses likee u could see where the houses where but now it was just a pile of cement and stuff. It was horrible.

We got to the cow farm and where there are usually big buildings that hold the cows and everything an the hay and the building that they milk the cows in, it was barren with big pieces of metal everywhere, and there were no buildings or anything, and there were little fires going on just burning, and there were bottles and newspaper and garbage everywhere. The milking building was there and all that was left inside was the metal of the thing that turns but all the pipes and stuff likee that were gone. So at the cow farm we had to take all of the pipes and stuff and big metal pieces and put them into these big containers. They were strewn everywhere, and they were pretty heavy too. we also had to collect the big screws that were lying around everywhere.

After basically all the metal parts were in the containers a truck came and took them away. then we had to take apart the things that they have so the cows cant go through. the pit with the bars over it. The bars were kinda heavy and on one side of the farm there was poop all over the bars, so we got pretty smelly and dirty. Under the bars where these steel blocs that kept the bars from falling. Those were really heavy and most of them were wedged into the stone or we so it took a while. But me and this other kid put together a good system of taking them out so it got better as it went on. It was the best feeling when we worked really hard on getting one out for like ten minutes and then we gave one last try and it popped out.

Then we had lunch in the shade of the building. we had a lot of trash from lunch, but we left it all on the ground.” let the arabs pick it up’ we said. I don’t understand what the arbs are going to do w/ all the land. likee there gunna get there and there are gunna be big piles of cement and fires and trash everywhere. I wanted to leave them a big sign or something that said like”have fun ‘or something. Cuz they have nothing to do there.there not smart enough to work the land likee we did, and theirs gunna be trash everywhere.i guess there used to it. I dunno.

Anyways. So then we took all the poles and stuff that we collected and put them in containers and big trucks, and then we left the farm. Then we drove through the yishuv a little more to get out and we passed more piles of cement. We passed by this basketball hoop that was just standing there w/ a little bit of cement in front of it . it just looked likee it was sad and lonely.

Then we drove to Atzmona. On the way we passed by a couple yishuvim likee nvie dkalim. We saw the magen david shul from the rod, and looking up into the entry road u could see that what was once a beautiful and lively yishuv, is now just totally like not there. Like there where palm trees from the past but then there were pieces of glass and containers and bottles lying in the street and everywhere. It was sickening looking at it from afar. We could also see more piles of cement that were once big beautiful houses inside the yishuv.

We got 2 Atzmona and there were buildings that they weren’t going to tear down and stuff, and they were leaving them for the arabs, so we just ransacked the houses. Broke the windows, through paints at the wall, trough papers everywhere, there was a can of salsa, so I picked it up and chucked it at the wall and it exploded everywhere. It was fun, considering that we were messing over the arabs.

Then we went to the greenhouses there and helped carry more metal around and stuff. when we were about to leave they told us that here was a whole greenhouse full of plants, and tha we could take, so I helped myself, so now I have a little souvenir from the gush. I also filled a bottle w/ sand so ya. Um ya so then we went back to the yishuv part and daavened probably the last mincha that shul will see. it was totally empty.. really, really sad. and then we came home, and I smelled like doody and had cuts all over my hand, but it was soooo worth it. May we be zoche that some kind of nes happens, and Sharon gets putin jail, and we get our gush katif back.

Women!

2005-09-07T23:27:00.000+03:00

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly, the
sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because
you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one
wish."

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I
want."

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous
challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the
bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! ! It will
nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for
me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and
think of something that would honor and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time.

Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to
know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent
treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and
how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied,

"You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Details, Details, Details

2005-09-07T22:56:00.000+03:00

Does it appear to you as if CNN has inadvertently left out a minute detail about these alleged masked gunman. They seem to have no problems speculating about other things. Gee, I wonder if they were Jewish? No, they couldn’t be Muslim extremist. Such a peaceful, loving people. I think I am going to be sick.

One the road again

2005-08-21T17:26:00.000+03:00

East Coast only. Will be back in 10 days. If your interested, join me for all you can eat Sushi at EDEN WOK on 72nd, 7pm this Monday.

A special note to Ittay

2005-08-21T17:21:00.000+03:00

In responce to this post: Your question is legitimate and is filled with deep and sincere pain. But if you really want my feelings. I will share them with you. I firmly believe that HaShem does listen and answerers each and every one of our prayers. Yes, each and every one. Unfortunately, sometimes we don’t get the answers we want. This may be one of those times. Sometimes HaShem says, “No.”

You may also want to read this post. It explains how I personally deal with all of this.

Today is my Grandpa's 8th Yartzeit

2005-08-21T09:30:00.000+03:00

This was the hesped I gave at my Grampa's funeral. Its message still resonates with me today. He was a great man.

16th of Av, 5757
Lispod V’Livkosah - we learn from our father Avraham Avinu, that when his wife Sarah died, he cried and he eulogized.
When my grandfather took ill several weeks ago I began to think about him in many different ways. Who was he? What did he accomplish in life? What has he taught us and what will be his legacy? You may think I am being disrespectful, but truthfully I was stumped and I have not been able to put my finger on the answer to these questions. It was in this confusion that I began to realize that my ambivalence to all of these things was really the essence of Grandpa’s greatness.

I realize that many of those here today, who have come to find comfort and give comfort maybe as perplexed as I am. I hope that in these few brief moments I will be able to offer a glimmer of brilliance to what my grandfather meant to each of us.
Medically speaking, Grandpa had it rough. It was not an uncommon occurrence to call home and hear that Grandpa is in - or was in - the hospital. We often joked that he was such a “regular” they were going to name a wing of Mt. Auburn Hospital in his honor. His favorite book was the most current edition of the PDR - Physicians Desk Reference guide. Grandpa knew so much about medicine that for years my sister and I thought he was a doctor.

But his ill health never made him bitter or resentful. He never questioned why G-d had thrown him so many maladies. And if you would ever ask him, “How are you doing Grandpa?”, his response was- And I will always try hard to remember his raspy voice - “I’m Ok.” He was a wonderful patient and many of his gifted and talented physicians, and nurses considered him a friend rather than as a patient.

The Gemara in Sukka comments on the verse in Micha that “Hegecha Lecha Adam MAh Tov - What is good and what does Hashem require of us?” The answer, “Do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with Hashem.” Judaism requires us to treat ever individual with dignity and respect because man was created B’Tzelem Elokim - In the image of Hashem. At the core of this are 2 basic Jewish concepts: Dignity of Man and simplicity.

Grandpa was a private, quite, simple, humble and unassuming human being. He never asked for much and was always happy with what ever he was given. Grandpa did not expect things from people and had no expectations of others. This perspective on life that Grandpa taught us allows a person to be happy with whatever he is given. If you don't expect something, he would say, and you get it.... you’ll be happy. If you expected it coming to you..... why be happy when you got it. You expected it.

We never saw Grandpa when he was not “put together.” Even recently, when I went to visit him in the hospital, Grandpa asked me to wait outside his room until he had been given a shave. He was always dapper, with his hat and bow tie. And if no bow tie, then his shirt was always buttoned to the top. Of course as one of his grandchildren, I would always loosen the button - Dov Baer wanted to wear his shirt buttoned to the top today just like Grandpa.

Azehu Chacham - Halomayd Mikol Adam - He who learns from all men. Grandpa never tried or wanted to be the life of the party. Because he was a listener. He was always keenly listening and never really offered his opinion unless he was asked for it. He would often wait for the right moment and then chime in... with just a few words. And then his comments would be discussed well after the day was over.

Grandpa was a gifted mechanical engineer and creative artist. (he never took a lesson and started painting at age 75. This sunset picture was one of his first. SB said she liked it, and he took it off his wall and gave it to her) He had an understanding of how systems worked and he was proud of it. If you ever looked carefully at his paintings you would see the peacefulness of his images and the brilliance of his colors. These were symbolic of the way he captured life. Grandpa was outwardly pride-less, yet inwardly very prideful of his accomplishments. Recently he told my mother and I, that he had done so many things in life. He had done it all, and what ever he did, he was the best. Until recently I had no idea what Grandpa’s profession really was. He never talked about it. He was modest in his privacy.

Grandpa’s relationship with Bobbi was something we often marveled as grandchildren. I am not sure how often Bobbi and Grandpa agreed on things, but in their 56 years of marriage, we always knew Grandpa and Bobbi to agree to disagree - Always in a respectful way. You don't necessarily need to agree with someone - And have the same outlook and view on life to be in love. The art of compromise - and respect - are the ways relationships are fostered developed and held together.

His daughters and his grandchildren, and now his great grandchildren were his life. How proud Grandpa was of their accomplishments, but again, he never bragged. His pride was personal and internal. When he spoke about them, his face would light up and his smile was so beautiful.

As much as we learn that Death is a part of life, Grandpa did not fear his final days. He had no enemies or conflicts to resolve.

Our tradition tells us that Eliyahu Hanavi is the symbol and guarantee of continuity for the Jewish people. That is why Eliyahu shows up at key points in Jewish tradition: The Seder, circumcision and Havdallah. We know that although in a physical sense the light and brilliance of our Eliyahu ben Aharon Halevi has been extinguished, in a mystical sense, his light continues to burn in our hearts, our mind and our spirit.
In his own special way Grandpa has left us a legacy of how to conduct ourselves in life that will always be cherished and remembered.
This is the legacy of chesed, kindness and humility.
One need not agree with another person to show him respect.
One does not need to be the loudest to be noticed.
Give charity in a quiet way.
Ezehu Ashir - Asamayayach Bechelko - Who is the rich man? The man who is happy with his lot.
Grandpa taught us that good guys always finish.....as long as you are content with yourself ... you can be content with the world.

May his soul be bound up in the bond of eternal life.
---------------------------------------------------------------
We miss you Grandpa. Love your favorite oldest grandson

I have been nauseated all day

2005-08-15T23:31:00.000+03:00

The sound and sights of soldiers crying. Synagogues being dismantled, men, woman and childern asking why. The unshakable faith and dedication of Your people. Oy, Rebono Shelo Olam. Look down at Your people, see and hear the love they have for You and your Land. Have Mercy on all of us and please deliver us quickly from the terrible pain and anguish we all feel at this time. HaShem Yerachem

The Power of Prayer, reconciliation and dignity

2005-08-14T00:26:00.000+03:00

I had a very heavy heart today. Jewish law forbids outward displays of mourning on Shabbat but I felt the impending gloom and doom of Tisha B’Av a little bit to soon. Tisha B’Av is the one-day on the Jewish calendar when we commemorate all Jewish tragedy. Many of us have never lived through a national Jewish tragedy. We have experienced tragic events, death, etc. But for us national tragedy is only a history, depicted in books, movies and stories from our grandparents. A real Jewish tragedy is something many of our generation have been spared from experiencing, until now.

Anyone who has read any of my previous post, and on whose blogs I have commented, know that I am against the disengagement. I believe firmly that leaving Gaza will not accomplish anything. Except for maybe freeing up our brave soldiers from protecting the Jewish residents of Gaza, I have not been convinced of any other legitimate claim. As we have heard, Hamas and the PA are already singing the predictable songs of, we want the entire west bank, we want the right of return and ultimately, we want Jerusalem. Anything less, there will be no peace; the violence will begin again, although we all know that it has really never stopped.

I am not giving up. I don’t want to give up, but I am starting to feel in my heart, that HaShem just may have other plans. Throughout history, Jews have experienced times of darkness. There have been times, recently and in the past where tragedies have happened to friends, our family and in the world that we just could not understand. After all, we’re human and things happen that are beyond our comprehension.

When someone is G-d forbid, diagnosed with a terminal illness, his or her initial approach is to fight. They take a stand. I will beat this cancer! They seek out the greatest specialists; they experiment with aggressive treatments, and sometimes they pray. The determination and will to live is crucial to survival. But unfortunately, sometimes even with all of the fighting, and all the praying, the disease is stronger and overtakes even the greatest and strongest of wills. Sometimes, HaShem hears our prayers and gives us a different answer than we want. And what do we do when this reality sets upon us? We accept what HaShem has decreed and we endeavor to leave this world and go out with dignity.

I am not sure, but this moment of transition may be upon us. We have fought hard. We have protested and we have prayed. But it seems that the time has come to accept that HaShem may have other plans for us, the people of Gaza and Israel. So now what are we to do? My hope is that my bothers and my sisters whose pain I share and identify with can accept that it is time to take control in a different way.

I do not want our beautiful children to see their sisters and mothers, who are modest in every way, handled by men, knocking off their head covering and dragged away. I don’t want children who honor, admire and revere the gevurah/strength of their heroic fathers to witness them being overpowered by a group of officers who are not following their hearts, but only following orders.

My fear is that even if there is resistance, in the end, it seems the result will be the same. For what ever the reasons, that we cannot understand, it seems that this is the way it will be. Yes, it is not me and it’s (sort of) not my family, and I am not living in their shoes but if it were me, I would rather go with my dignity. I realize people do not like holocaust analogies, but in Fiddler on the Roof, when they were told to leave Anatefka, they put on their hats and jackets, swept the floor and walked out with their heads held high. Our people are honorable and dignified. We should never allow ourselves to have these values compromised.

I looked ahead today, to next weeks Torah portion. I wanted to see if there was a message to be gleaned in the week that the disengagement would officially be executed. Once again I was awed by timelessness of Torah is and its eternal message.

We find Moses our teacher, pleading with G-d, to be allowed to enter into the land of Israel. We have learned earlier that it had been decreed that Moses would not enter the land. But Moses did not take this sitting down. He used every opportunity to try and annul this judgment. Moses prayed so many times and with such intensity that G-d himself had to tell Moses that he must stop his prayer and accept the judgment that was upon him. G-d told Moses that something else is was in store for him, something even greater and will someday be perceived as being more precious than the privilege of entering the Holy Land.

My hopes and prayers are with our friends and families in Gush Katif. May HaShem grant them all the wisdom and strength and the needed courage to deliver them through these dark and confusing times. May HaShem bless their families and reward them for their sacrifices and their steadfast faith. May the Jewish people merit that these dark times be a prelude to the ultimate redemption to come, speedily in our days.

The joy to be humbled

2005-08-09T00:34:00.000+03:00

This summer, our son DB is learning and playing at the NCSY summer kollel. The Kollel is an amazing program that combines sports, trips and fun with intense Torah learning. Several great rabbis, including Rav Hershel Schechter, Rav Meir Twersky and a bunch of dynamic madrichim/counselors spend their entire summer at the Kollel, just learning hanging out and playing ball with the boys. In my 10 years with NCSY, there was never a kid who we sent on the Kollel that did not love it and gain from this experience.

B”H, it seems that our son is enjoying this same magnificent summer. This past Saturday night, after a beautiful shabbat at home, I drove DB back to beit meir, the home of the kollel.

As I was preparing to leave after dropping him off, my window was open, and I heard DB say to his madrich, that was my father. And his madrich said, that he wanted to meet me. So DB waved, I stopped and DB introduced me to his madrich. A very nice young man who has spent his last 6 summers with the kollel.

Tonight, when I was speaking with DB, I thanked him for introducing me to his madrich. DB said, yeah, it was weird. I asked him why was it weird? DB said that “He was like, that was so cool!” DB said, “what was cool?” “I just met Rabbi S! He is a legend!” I said “DB, what do you think of that, That someone out there actually thinks I’m cool?” To which DB responded, “Abba, he has never seen you at home! Oy, to be humbled by a 16 year old. But you got to love it. I certainly do. I watched cheaper by the dozen with my daughter and her friend and last night, I watch Star Was, something about a syth. I’ll be traveling again in a few weeks so I have to cram in some solid family time. NED came to work with me today. But that is for another story.

Remember when

2005-08-07T23:00:00.000+03:00

When I was a little kid, I remember when my parents would go out on a Saturday night. It was the days before VCR’s and renting videos. We used to watch the Love Boat and Fantasy Island. Da Plan, Da plane! and I am Mr. Rourk, you host!! Welcome to Fantasy Island.

But the big thing was popcorn. It was the days before jiffy pop, Microwave ovens and Orville Redenbacher. We used to use a pot on the stove, put oil in it, corn kernels and on a full flame, shake the pot until we would hear the popcorn popping. The smell of fresh popcorn. Not air-popped but real, oily, fresh popcorn.

So I was at the local shuk the other day and I saw a bag of popcorn kernels. And I decided to by it. My kids did not know what they were. So I decided to give them a history lesson. There was a time, when you could not pause your TV or tape a show. There was a time when the only movies you could watch were at a theater or a drive in. My grandfather used to own a drive in theater. There was no such thing as a microwave and popcorn did not come in a bag and take 2 minutes to make.

I said to my children, gather around and watch. The first thing they noticed was the smell. Ahhh, that smell that stinks up the whole house. Then they heard the popping and then, when you take the lid off, that beautiful white and crispy popcorn. Ahh I said, this was a benefit to living in the good old days. Things may have taken a little longer, but boy, did they seem better.

Makes you wonder if we really are better off than we were 35 years ago. Technology has advanced so much but the world seems like its much more screwed up that it used to be. Somehow I got to this from popcorn. To live in my head, what an adventure.

Terrorism or Murder?

2005-08-07T02:26:00.000+03:00

Last week, a Jewish soldier, Natan Eden Zeda who was apparently AWOL from his unit boarded a bus in an Shfaram and murdered four Israeli Arabs. Natan Eden Zeda was subsequently lynched by an Arab mob after being handcuffed by police.

I found it very ironic how quickly world press including our own were very quick to call this an act of terrorism, by a “Bloodthirsty Jewish Terrorist.” The sound of it makes me cringe and want to hide in shame. But, putting this in perspective, not many of us have heard this type of a description so often. For the mere fact that it does not happen so often!

In my opinion, what happened was wrong, and these actions would definitely constitute murder. However, I am not sure if his actions should be considered a terrorist act. I looked at the dictionary to find a good definition of terrorism, to see if this act would apply. Most of the definitions were very vague. Incidentally, the UN has a team, lead by an Arab that is also making efforts to define terrorism. Unfortunately a dispute, centered on how to classify Palestinian suicide bombings and Israeli military actions in the West Bank and Gaza has held things up. How convenient.

I would define terrorism as an ongoing organized and premeditated action or actions, that are meant to harm, murder and maim as part of this on-going effort to create fear and intimidation for pursuit of political and religious aims.

There is a lot that we don’t know yet about who Natan Eden Zeda is, was, etc. It seems that on his own, he independently decided to take a bus and murder Israeli Arabs. Was this part of a larger plot? Was there any video tape that was delivered and broadcast to the networks that had a living, Natan Eden Zeda expressing his will and desire to die a martyr for the sake of G-d and his people. Was there dancing in the street and did his family give out candy and deliver sweets to the neighbors? The answer is NO, NO, NO! Because with the information we have today, we only know that Natan Eden Zeda acted alone. He was not furthering any cause. He was an independent soldier who seems to have cracked and went off the deep end and he killed people. He was not part of a larger plot, no jihad, no nothing!

The Arabs are still free to enter the malls, take the bus, and walk the streets freely. Actually, I wonder some times if Arabs feel safer in our shopping centers. They are not afraid that someone will kill them. I doubt you will start seeing check points set up in Arab towns watching out for the Jewish terrorist. There is no intimidation.

The murderous actions of any Jew create a stain on our people. When in a soldieries uniform, with a military issued weapon, it creates a blemish for our military. But when the press and our government equates this isolated act of one individual, with no mandate other than his own warped sense of justice, they demonstrate just how imprecisely they perceive reality and the larger picture, and how willing they are to entertain the notion of apologetics to justify their own existence.

The times we are living in are indeed very sad and difficult to understand.

Uncertainty, insecurity and feeling settled. All in the same day.

2005-07-27T23:41:00.000+03:00

I have learned about myself that I do not deal well when things are not settled and are not in my control. Is anything? It may be a false sense of thinking, but since leaving my position as “director” I deal with a new reality that I am no longer in a position to “call the shots.” It is one thing when things are not settled and you have the ability to do something about it. It is another when you have to wait for someone else to determine your fate…it can get you thinking.

I have been working for the last 18 months for a wonderful organization. I sincerely believe that the type of work we do, and the people we work with have the ability to impact and change the world in a remarkable way.

When I was hired, the head of our organization said that although I was offered the position, it could not be official until I met with the organizations largest benefactor. 18 months have come and gone and until today, this had not happened. I have been living with the uncertainty and insecurity that although, I have been working hard, am being productive, my boss likes me, my job could still be jeopardized if the “bal habos” did not like me. It’s that way in Jewish organizations.

So today, I finally met with the benefactor for 20 minutes…. And after 18 months, 12 trips to the US, Canada and France, over 75 Cites, 22 states, I was officially offered the job. So am I settled now? Not a chance!

Resilience

2005-07-27T16:26:00.000+03:00

As I was leaving shul this morning, there were little children standing around an elderly man admiring his right hand. They were playfully asking him questions, touching his fingers, squeezing his hand to their delight. As I passed by, I heard him, say to the children, “if I can serve HaShem with one hand, imagine what you can do with two!

On March 27, 2002 this man and his family were celebrating Passover at the Park Hotel in Netanya. Terrorist came into the dining room during the seder and started shooting and throwing grenades. “I saw the grenade between my legs, I said Shema Yisrael twice and that is all I remember.” I heard him say this some time ago. With one leg and one arm, this man davens with me in shul each day. As we were leaving shul on one morning, I asked him how he was feeling. He said, Toda La’Kel, I thank G-d each day.

To be continued...

Just imagine if Israel had done that

2005-07-26T00:38:00.000+03:00

If Israel had killed an innocent civilian, the world reaction would have been fast and furious. UN condemnations, Security Council Resolutions, etc., would have been too many to count. I bet the front page of all the international news outlets would say, “Lynching by Israel.”

London is living under fantastically difficult times they say. I feel bad for the innocent Brit’s who now have to endure what has become standard procedure for us in Israel. The traditionally anti-Israel rhetoric verbally vomited by BBC, Jack Straw, Mayor Ken Livingstone must now look inward at their own failures and not place the blame for their internal problems on Israel. However, we all know that today, blame on Israel is being offered wholesale. Psychology 101, is much easier to deflect blame by making others look bad than it is to reflect on your own failures. This fellow writes what I am thinking. Wish I could do that.

We are not afraid

2005-07-25T14:49:00.000+03:00

I saw this URL on CNN and then again it was referenced on Jewlicious. Yes, I look at that periodically. So, I decided to send in a submission. A few weeks ago someone at our shabbos table said they were afraid to live in Israel. Our 12 year old daughter looked at them and point blank, asked, "what are you afraid of?"

Sarah is missing!

2005-07-24T21:50:00.000+03:00

With all that is going on In Israel, this should be the least of our worries.

In the wrong place...Maybe

2005-07-24T18:04:00.000+03:00

I took DB back to the NCSY Kollel last night and picked up our friend Dovid G. who made a run to KFC in Mivaseret for pre-Fast spicy Wings and a Zinger. We downed 18 wings before 2am…I’ll let you know if this was a good idea later. So far so good.

As we were getting on highway 1, I noticed an increased presence in Police activity. There were just a few more police cars than usual for 11pm on a Saturday night. Plus I saw 3 dude teams. The Dude's, as we call them, are the 1st responder anti-terror teams that ride around on motorcycles with body armor and enough artillery to take on a small army. So I figured something must be going on.

The police car in front of me was driving way below the speed limit so I did what we usually do, I passed him in the right lane. And then all of a sudden, 3 more dude’s passed me on the left, several white vans, plus an entire motorcade of vehicles. If you know rout 1, it’s not the safest place to just pull over, and before I knew it, I was driving in the motorcade. I looked to my left just in time to see the primary vehicle of interest, a black Volvo sedan escorting Dr. Condoleezza Rice. Someone really messed up in their traffic control b/c I should not have been driving with them.

It was a cool experience but I am still waiting for the Shin Bet to show up at my house to interrogate me. If I had known that she had congratulated Abbas for his crackdown on terror, maybe I would done something different. (probably not) I mean in her comments, she is basically ignoring the fact that there have been suicide bombings, barrages of 100’s of rockets, shootings and murders. People have died in the Abbas so called crack down on terror. This is not diplomacy…it is idiocy.

Israel is the safest place

2005-07-24T01:57:00.000+03:00

Yesterday before Shabbat, I spoke with my Dad about the recent developments in London. Specifically, news reports that the British security had claimed that had identified chased down and killed a suspect. It all did not make sense to me. The obvious is the MO of a suicide bomber. They don’t run. Once detected, they attempt to detonate them selves, as they would rather die than get caught. Unfortunately the news has been released that this poor fellow had no link to 7/7 and that the actions of the British police were regrettable. A case of mistaken identity by a bunch of boobies with overactive testosterone and very big guns. Sounds like a formula for disaster to me. As events of the weekend develop, Sharm el-Sheikh, Beirut, Iraq, I am thinking more and more that Israel is most likely the safest place in the world to be.

If you have a few minutes, it's worth it.

2005-07-20T23:48:00.000+03:00

Regardless of your positions, this video is painful to watch.

On the lighter side, only in Israel

2005-07-20T22:40:00.000+03:00

I was on the bus and an elderly woman was sitting in front of me. She was talking to herself and seemed to be somewhat frantic. As I listened to her monologue, I began to understood that she could not remember where to get off the bus. So she asked me if she could borrow my phone. I said no problem; I mean what’s 39 agurot per minute between friends?

She made the call and spoke to someone; it may have been her daughter, for a few minutes. After the call was completed, she gave me my phone back. A few minutes passed, and I could hear the woman talking to herself again. She still sounded like she was in a panic and a bit confused. So, she turned around, and asked me to borrow my phone. In my previous life, I may have offered my business card and offered a consult for admission to my nursing home. But in this life, I gladly offered what I could do; I lent her my phone for another 5-minute conversation. After she completed the call, she gave me the phone and thanked me.

I sat back, relaxed, and enjoyed the solitude of the ride and the beauty of Israel…. And then my phone rang. An unfamiliar voice on the other end said, “Hello, are you on bus number 330?” Yes, who is calling? I asked. And then this unfamiliar voice proceeded to ask me if she could speak with the elderly woman sitting in front of me on the bus! This would only happen in Israel! You got to love it.

I don’t think it means what he thinks its means

2005-07-20T15:45:00.000+03:00

The atmosphere in the Holy Land is very thick right now. Thick with tension as our Country teeters on the threshold of the disengagement. I have already expressed my views and on the disengagement. My feelings and sentiments have only been reinforced by the barrage or mortars shootings, homicide bombings and bombings attempts over the last several months. As Israel is poised to enter Gaza, the PA reaction has been predictable. The escalation by Israel will only compromise the cease-fire agreement. I always want to barf when I see this in print. Because there are people who actually believe that the PA has committed itself to a cease-fire, please!

As the news that collations forces have killed over 25,000 Iraqi’s since the beginning if the conflict (a nice military word) I wonder if and when we begin to hear the word massacre? This is a rhetorical question because it won’t happen.

In the famous movie classic, The Princess Bride, Vizzini, the Sicilian villain repeatedly exclaims, “Inconceivable!” Finally the Spaniard, Inigo Mantoya exclaims, “you keep using that word, I don’t think it means what you think its means.”

For years, we have been bombarded by the Palestinian propaganda machine exclaiming, massacre, massacre! We heard it in Jenin when news headlines plastered across the world, proclaimed that the Israeli assault on Jenin killed between three and six hundred people. The international press reported, based on Palestinian reports that Israel intentionally targeted and massacred a group of bystanders who were loitering around a destroyed car that had been carrying Palestinian terrorist. The Palestinians decried of Massacre after a 13-story building was destroyed outside of Netzarim and after Operation Days of Penitence and Operation King’s Court we heard the same song, massacre, massacre!

But we have always known the truth. A United Nations investigation has rejected Palestinian claims that a Massacre took place in Jenin. A drone plane documented the IDF attack on the terrorist’s vehicle and the pictures clearly show that the 13-story building in Netzarim was incomplete and unoccupied.

So how are we to understand the Palestinian claims of Massacre? To start, I would say to Saeb Erekat, the Palestinian Authority's senior spokesmen, I don’t think it means what you think it means! A massacre is not when armed terrorist are targets of any military. Let us remember, these are terrorist and murderers who’s sole purpose, mission and motivation is to kill and maim innocents. A massacre is when old, young, men, woman - pregnant woman, and children are going about their lives are killed for just being Jewish and wanting to live their lives in the Holy Land or in London for that matter. A Massacre is when parents are murdered and children are orphaned. A massacre is when a chatan (groom) buries his kalla (bride) on their wedding day. A massacre is when children are playing in a schoolyard and Qassam rockets slam into their playground. A massacre is when a Jewish Mother and her 4 children are brutally murdered by spraying their car with bullets and then proceeding to shoot each child repeatedly at point-blank range. Unfortunately, we have thousands of examples.

We know (but have forgotten) that the roadside bomb that targeted and tragically killed 3 members of the United States security team was planted less than 300 meters from a Palestinian checkpoint. What did the PA security team at the checkpoint do when they saw (at 300 meters, they had so see something) a group burying a large metal object on the side of the road? Maybe it was the PA beautification committee planting flowers? The FBI was/has been on the case but will we ever hear the truth revealing PA complicity?

What would happen in any society when a criminal, never mind an armed terrorist would hide out in a hospital? Maybe someone one would call the authorities? This could have been the PA’s opportunity to “crack down” and arrest these fugitives. No way. Instead Erekat and Kofi Annan exclaim, “a dangerous escalation by the IDF.”

One would hope that after all this time the world would catch on to Palestinian propaganda. But, I’m not sure if that has happened yet or if it ever will.

It seems that Mr. Erekat, and his un-credible crony’s need to learn new adjectives that more accurately reflect the reality. It would be wise for Mr. Erekat, to recommend to the Palestinian people and residents of Gazza to stay as far away as possible from their terrorist friends and murderous neighbors. The IDF has been given the green light to once again, go after these fugitive terrorist (not militants). The rocket launching brigades and terrorist cells will once again be viable targets of the IAF unless the PA does something to rein in on their plans for continued terrorism. Since that wont happen and unless that means something different than he thinks it means, the message of the IDF will continue to be very, very clear. And would not want any "innocent" (future hammas recruits and their families) to get caught in the cross fire, would we? It makes for bad press. Go get’em boys.

PS. I wanted to keep this light, but it diddn't happen....sorry.

Some things you will only see in Israel

2005-07-19T23:08:00.000+03:00

From the "makes me feel better about my spelling" archives.....

Not sure if I would trust their kasharus

Could I get in trouble for this....?

Not something you would see in Washington Heights!
Or Brookline.....
Not that I condone it, but this graffiti you will only find in Israel!
Give thanks to G-d, becasue he is good!

Some humor on shopping in Israel!

2005-07-17T13:04:00.000+03:00

Very funny!
If you have a sick sense of humor like me.
Enjoy.

Just in case anyone had any illusions about "peace" and the objective of the Palesininians.

2005-07-14T11:42:00.000+03:00

Palestinian Friday Service by Shiek Ibrahim Mudeiris

Palestinian Authority TV
May 13, 2005

Now this is something you dont see everyday

2005-07-13T17:27:00.000+03:00

I was walking yesterday on Emek Rafaim and I saw a Chatan and Kalla eating at Pizza hut. Yes, Pizza Hut! I asked them if they just got married and they said, YES! Either their wedding meal was terrible and they were still hungry or this is the cheapest wedding meal in history. May they build a hut ne’man b’yisroel!

A story you wont read on CNN

2005-07-12T14:22:00.000+03:00

Maybe Tony Blair will thank Israel an not blame her for his own problems...probably not!

They are everywhere!

2005-07-10T13:33:00.000+03:00

Its been a while since I have had the time to post. There has been a lot going on personally and professionally and so much is up in the air. But it always is. I read a great book by Rabbi Benjamin Blech, If God Is Good, Why Is The World So Bad? I highly recommend this book. It’s clear and an excellent read. Not that it answers the question, but for those of us who constantly search for meaning in today’s world and personal events, this book shares and amazing perspective.

Just a quick story about my last trip. I was driving through RockHill, North Carolina. It was late and I was tired so I checked in to a very small motel an hour outside of Charlotte. If was one of those places where their motto should be, “if we knew you were staying the night, we would have changed the sheets!” Definitely not the Ritz. I usually wear my Red Sox hat because I meet with so many people during the day, I am usually not so interested in schmoozing with the natives. They love to talk. So I checked in and went to sleep. I checked out at about 6:30am. As I was leaving, the young fellow behind the counter asked with a very strong southern drawl, “are you Jewish?” I looked up and I was still wearing my red Sox hat, so how could he tell? So I asked him, “Do I look Jewish.” He answered, I can tell from your fringes!” The long and the short is that that his grandmother is Jewish, yes, his mothers mother and yes, that makes him Jewish. So we did schmooze for a few minutes, I gave him my e-mail, the web site for birthright, etc. He’ll probably be doing kiruv somewhere in the south, Tattoos and all in about 3 years.

CNN will print anything

2005-07-10T00:39:00.000+03:00

Once again the world stands in shock and disbelief as terror and terrorist strike the heart of what many of us hold on to, our freedom and our innocence. But as world reaction is quick to condemn, they are just as quick to vindicate. I am not sure if it was Tony Blair’s first or second public statement that read, this is not the way for the majority of Muslims. So quick to protect against backlash that he looses focus on what created this event in the first place, Muslim fundamentalists!

But as CNN polled world reaction, the had the friggen chuztpa to include condemnations by, Iran and Syria, both on Washington's list of states sponsoring terrorism as well as the Palestinian Authority, Hamas, and Hezbollah. The Hamas spokesman said “there could be no justification for the London bombings.” And in the most unbelievable demonstration of hypocrisy I have ever seen committed to print, "Targeting civilians in their transport means and lives is denounced and rejected," A Hezbollah statement on the blasts denounced attacks on civilians, citing humanitarian, moral and religious grounds.

Hello? Is anyone is the world home. Does anyone realize that the word of these people have no credibility. Do I have to write how many innocents have died at the hands of Hamas, the PA, etc?

Well it once again leads me to the same conclusion. There are different sets of rules that are used to judge crimes against the general world population and atrocities committed targeting Jews. According the Muslims, the Jews are not innocents and we are not civilians. We, according to the Muslim world are infidels and it is and will always be open season on infidels. What is a crime to a Muslim is wasting explosives on the Brits when they could have killed more Jews in Israel.

Muslim leadership is very clear in their wording and it is for this very reason, they can never be trusted. And at one moment, a person, a community and a country can change from being innocent to being infidels; this is something that the world will never understand.

On the road again

2005-05-27T00:33:00.000+03:00

Savannah, GA
Charleston, SC
Charlotte, NC
Greensboro, NC
Washington, DC
Bensalem, PA
New York City

If I come back talking a bit funny and chewin on a piece of grass you’ll know why!

A very auspicious day

2005-05-27T00:19:00.000+03:00

17 years ago today, the 33rd day of the Omer, I proposed to my wife. 17 years ago, I made a promise to her. 17 years ago I promised that one day we would live in Israel. Today, 17 years later, the 33rd day of the Omer we not only live in Israel, Tonight as the people in Israel were celebrating the Yartziet of R’ Shimon Bar Yochei, as the skyline of the holy land was illuminated by the bright flames of medurot –bomfires, we signed on the dotted line and purchased 638 square meters of holy land with a magnificent view of the Judean hills.

Post script. We have no clue what we signed, or what is said, but our lawyer told us that we own it!

This morning my daughter said….

2005-05-24T08:41:00.000+03:00

We were sitting at breakfast this morning with our 5.5 year old EY and almost 16-year-old DB. When out of nowhere, EY said, “DB is going into the army and he’ll have a gun!” SB and I looked at each other. Now that was a surprise source for a reality check.

It has finally happened

2005-05-19T00:38:00.000+03:00

I made dinner tonight. Hot dogs on the grill and a can of beans, cooked directly on the grill, in the can. The best! I found two types of dogs on the freezer. Israeli Hot Dogs and American Style. I’m not sure what the Israeli hotdogs taste like because, in September of 1985 (yes I remember) I got so sick after eating one, I swore I would never eat another Israeli Hot Dog again. When we made aliya, my cousin told me that in a matter of time, our kids wont like the American ones anymore. Tonight at dinner, the dreaded moment occurred. My daughter said to me. What type of Hot Dog is this? American style, I replied. She said, “you don’t have to get those anymore, we don’t like them.” An era has ended! Does this mean my kids are officially Israelis?

Posting slow these days. So much going on. But this Hot dog thing has really done me in. Thank for your patience

Memorial Day in Israel

2005-05-11T20:02:00.000+03:00

It was the late Chief Rabbi Shlomo Goren who made the decision to institute Israel's Memorial Day immediately before Independence Day. He explained Memorial Day's significance as follows:
"We view the warriors who fall in battle as those who sprout forth life. The life of a nation grew out of this blood... This day must be more than mourning: We must remember, we must grieve, but it must be a day of ... majesty and vision."

“Your G-d reversed the curse to a blessing for you…”

2005-03-25T09:24:00.000+02:00

(Devarim, 23:6)

Reversing the curse was the theme of the day.
Long ago in Shushan and in St. Louis in modern day.
Esther and Mordecai still believed
Even when Haman got really peeved.
When the odds were not in favor of the Jews
And it looked as if the Red Sox the ACLS would lose
Just when it looked as if Haman and the Yanks would sweep
The Jews and Red Sox Nation dug down deep.
That’s when emunah was really tested
And in the end the evil ones were bested!
Keep the Faith! Chag Purim Sameach.

When you have writers block, share clever Purim wish from our friends from Brookline.

So are you with me?

2005-03-20T23:58:00.000+02:00

I made some changes. Let me know if I should give up my day job!
And let us know when you are making aliyah! We know you will come when you can. We just hope it is sooner than later.

All about solidarity

2005-03-18T12:57:00.000+02:00

Blue and White!

The Hall of Fame is not about winning

2005-03-11T01:45:00.000+02:00

I have returned from another whirlwind trip to the US. 7 days 13 cities. It snowed for the 1st 4 days but anticipating the inclement weather, I rented an SUV from Hertz and had no problems getting around.

I did something on this trip I normally do not have time for. I took a little detour. When I travel, I usually look at the map and see if there is something in the area that I would normally not get to see. When I was in Dayton Ohio, I went to the United States Air Force Museum(its free); when I was traveling from Moncton to Fredericton New Brunswick I went to the Bay of Fundy. The Bay of Fundy is a must see for anyone who happens to be in this area. It does not compare to the beauty of the Holy Land, but it is a sight to behold.

So, I looked at the map and between Syracuse, Utica and Schenectady is Cooperstown, the birthplace of baseball and the home of the National Baseball Hall of Fame. I had never been there before and I thought, OK, this is worth the 150 miles (75 each way) that it will take me to get there. I had heard that Curt Shillings bloody sock, cleats and lots of Red Sox World Champion paraphernalia would be there. I had to go! What I did not realize is that Cooperstown is really in the middle of nowhere. During the long and boring drive, that included such sights as farms, cornfields and more farms and cornfields, you realize that when there is not much else to do and when you have extra time on your hands, great things can be invented. The roads were barley plowed. But I had a Mountaineer and had no problems.

This time of year Cooperstown is deserted. Most of the shops were closed and there were very few people on the streets. Except for a few other people, I had the Hall pretty much to myself.

I spent a lot of time at the Babe Ruth exhibit. They have his bat, his glove, his uniform and the cursed contract from when he was sold by the Red Sox to the Yankees. They have Lou Gehrig’s locker, Jackie Robinson’s hat, and the bat Carlton Fisk used to win game 6 of the 75 series against the Reds. I saw the uniform and golden Glove of my childhood idol Yaz #8, Carl Yastrzemski. There was stuff there from Johnny Bench (my dad got me a Johnny Bench batter up when I was a kid) Pete Rose and Oh, the memories go on an on.

And then there was the bloody sock and all the Red Sox stuff. Just a sight to behold. It was a great feeling to stand there. As the replays of the greatest comeback in sports history was played on the huge TV screens, the rush of emotion was amazing. I remember the painful losses in 75, 78, 86 and last year. Older fans have known the greater trauma of Red Sox history. Just think of Pesky in 1946. But no more! The Sox are World Champions and in the Hall of Fame.

As I was standing there marveling at the sight, a reporter from NBC came over to me and asked if I would agree to be interviewed. They were doing a story on the new Red Sox exhibit. It’s been a while but I agreed. I told him how we lived in Israel, how we watched the game on MLB.com from 2-6am, about all my childhood memories, the losses, the misery, the pain, OY the pain and now how that is all over. The reporter then asked me what I thought Ted Williams, the splendid splinter would think about the Sox victory. And this question made me think. And I responded. “There are many great players in this Hall who never got that coveted ring, never got to hoist a World Series trophy on their shoulders. They never won the big game.

I realized at that moment that the Hall of Fame is not about winning. The Hall of fame is about trying your best, being your best. It’s about good sportsmanship, honesty and being a mentch! Ted Williams would have been thrilled with a sox victory. But as sacrilegious as it may sound, if the Sox had lost, every kid in Boston would have been heartbroken, but the lesson they would have learned from the effort of these 25 guys would have made history.

As we count down the 24 days to opening day, I'll approach this new season with this perspective. What ever happens, it has been and will always be great to be a sox fan and a proud member of Red Sox “international” Nation.

Traveling

2005-02-26T22:11:00.000+02:00

I’ll be off line next week. Shavua Tov

Moshe's word on disengagement

2005-02-26T22:02:00.000+02:00

I was commenting in Chayyei Sarah’s Blog about the disengagement and I realized that I should write on my blog why at this time I am not in favor of the disengagement. I write at this time because maybe at some time in the future if certain conditions were met, I would be more optimistic about it.

The ultimate questions I would ask is will this evacuation bring us any closer to a peaceful coexistence, which would include security with our neighbors. Unfortunately, my prediction is that it will not bring peace or security. When/if the evacuation occurs you will see the Arabs burning Israeli flags, desecrating our synagogues (if we don’t destroy them first) and cemeteries. If a Jew accidentally walks on the wrong beach or takes a wrong turn into their neighborhood, will they be welcomed in? My prediction unfortunately is that they will be violently murdered and their bodies will be mutilated. These images are predicable. We have seen this so many times before. Would you call this peace? Is this peace?

The bottom line is that no matter what we give, the other side will claim we are not doing enough, giving enough and they will continue their (failing) effort until they claim ALL of Israel. Even though they have been up to 45 terror warnings each day under the once sided supposed cease-fire, if we kill one terrorist protecting our borders and our people, they will claim we violated the cease-fire and will retaliate. And they will do so at our expense and these prices are way to high. As we saw today in Tel-Aviv, unfortunately, it was only matter of time.

We must open our eyes to the present and not forget history. As we are making concessions, the song if “it’s not enough” is already being sung. The song of Gaza is not enough and the prisoners were not enough. The song of not demolishing their homes is not enough and giving back the dead exploded terrorist bodies is not enough. These songs should be way to familiar to all of us. And the obvious question, what are we getting in return? So far, lets list a few: Kassam rockets falling every day; soldiers being shot at every day; road side bombs being planted EVERY SINGLE DAY; and what has Abbas actively done about it? Yes, that is a rhetorical question! Maybe I would have trusted Abbas if as Israel let out 500 prisoners as a goodwill gesture, he had not simultaneously signed the execution orders of 47 Palestinians convicted of collaborating with Israel. Um, let me see now, you are executing individuals who collaborated with someone you are trying to make peace with. Doesn’t anyone see the hypocrisy?

Will there be Palestinian protest against today’s homicide bombing in Tel-Aviv? Will people refuse the candies given out by the homicide bombers family in honor of his successful mission? Yes, these are rhetorical questions. Watch CNN for coverage of the Palestinian celebrations…no, it wont be there.

But his chinuch and his Rebbe (lahvdil) prescribed a certain script. Bomb, shoot, kill, terrorize and then condemn. Israel then states it remains committed to the cease-fire. This is all going according to plan.

I would be in favor of something like this: Let us live in peace. Let us not be afraid when we send our children off to school, that we may never see them again. Let us not be suspicious when we get on a bus, go to the mall, supermarket, movie theater or the cell-phone store that this will not become a target. Let us live in peace without terror warnings and rockets falling.

Control your people for one year. One year of peace. One year of burring our dead who have died only from natural causes. One year. Show me you can control your people and you are interested in allowing us to live with the freedom of peace. After one year, then we can talk. And if you can’t control your people, then we will wait for leadership who can.

What will surly be a lively discussion

2005-02-23T16:27:00.000+02:00

Additional thoughts on disengagement

A limited time post - A memorial tribute video

2005-02-22T22:34:00.000+02:00

I have been so upset by what is going on lately with the entire Gush Katif thing. We're giving back exploded terrorist bodies, allowing terrorist back to Beit Lechem, letting 500 terrorist out of prison, giving over land, abandoning machsomim, easing restrictions, etc..... all the while, they are still shooting, planting road side bombs, lobbing mortars and kassam rockets and shooting at our soldiers every day! Have we forgotten so quickly the price we have already paid! As soon as these terrorist feel that we are not holding our side of the bargain, ie. Not letting more terrorsit back to their terrorism, not giving over enough land including Jerusalem, these terrorist will be re-activated! This is so predictable and the price will be unbearable.

I heard the song and was moved by it. Even though I'll never be able to totally publicize it (b/c of the woman's voice thing) I still wanted to do something... So this is what I did. If you are interested, you can find the link through dot.mac by following this link

Please note: This link will be removed after a few days.

Over the Top

2005-02-21T21:47:00.000+02:00

I play basketball every erev shabbos on our yishuv. To keep the playing field somewhat equal, this is the “30’s-40’s married only” game. But on our yeshuv, we have a few 18-20’s that are still eligible because they ARE married! Leaving the house in the midst of shabbos preparations could create shalom bayis issues but my aishes chayil appreciates that this is my only opportunity for exercise and reluctantly permits this means of expression.

In the last 18months since I have begun to play on the yeshuv, I have broken 4 fingers (not at the same time) dislocated a few ribs and have incurred multiple cuts and bruises on various appendages. But one of the rules in our family is, “You play –You pay” and “choices and consequences”…So I am not aloud to complain about any post game pain. I must quietly endure and lick my wounds in silence. No sympathy! The only outward acceptable evidence of injury is entry to the freezer for an ice pack upon my return home after the game. I have a regimen of 3 Advil before the game and 3 Advil after the game. This seems to help.

Despite playing with tape on my fingers and the potential for additional injuries, I love to play basketball. I have even worn out my first pair of sneakers since I was in high school. I got a great deal new pair of Jordan’s at an outlet in Lancaster, PA on my last trip to the US.

It may be strange to those who know me and those who have met me in person, that in high school, I was the captain of our basketball team. This may be a surprise because I am from the vertically challenged. At a whopping 5’5” I have never consider myself short. 5’4” is short but I am not! I wore the number 18 and they called me Dr. A, a flattering reference to Dr. J from the 76ers. I can’t for the life of me remember how many games we won or lost but we always had a great time. In the days of my youth we could play all day.

This past Friday was a usual day. We play with guys at all heights and skill levels. Some guys are really good and have even played college ball. There are others like me who are decent to the guys are really not that great. Overall, the level of play can sometimes be at a very high level. There is no ‘official’ referee so we call our own fouls. Sometimes this causes major arguments, especially between the Americans and Israelis because there is a very different standard for fouls (and aggression) between our cultures. Most of my injuries have been inflicted by the Israelis we play with. During these tense moments, when tempers sometimes flare, you can tell who is there to win and who is there to have fun. I try not to call fouls that often. Unless I get hit really hard or it’s blatant and even then, it just slows down the pace of the game.

This past Friday, the weather was beautiful and it was a great day for basketball. During one of the final plays of the game, I went up for a rebound and I was called for a foul. I looked at my opponent and said, what’s the foul and he said, “Over the top!” Now over the top is foul that is usually called when two players go up for a rebound and one of the apposing players reaches over the back of their opponent to rebound the ball. It is a legitimate foul. But the call surprised everyone on the court. It was a surprise because I went up for the rebound against someone who was 6’3”. My teammate looked at Andre the Giant and said, “your calling over the top on him?” My teammate was questioning the veracity of such a call with an obvious reference to my height and the unlikely probability that I could accomplish such a feat. Now this put me in a quandary? Should I argue the call? Do I join in the chorus of, “no this is not possible.” He could never go over the top on Mr. 6’3”! I on the other hand actually thought this was a great call. I mean, this guy was huge, almost a foot taller than me. My teammates were not going to deny me this foul. This foul call was a major endorsement of my playing. Short white men can jump! So I took the call and said to my teammates, I’ll take any call that is good for my self-esteem. It was a great day for basketball. No one got hurt, and the guys who came to have fun, won the game.

Tradition, Tradition!

2005-02-13T23:52:00.000+02:00

We watched the move, Fiddler on the Roof the other night. We don’t have a TV so we all crowded around my 17” PowerBookG4. It has a DVD player built in. I have always loved this classic. It’s been several years since the last time we watched it. This is the 1st time I think my kids have seen it. It always makes me cry and it always makes me think. I have always identified with Tevya’s struggle to hold firm to tradition. I respect his struggle to create a balance with tradition and the forces of modernity. I get aggravated with the “poetic licence” the writers use when they depicted some of the relationships that develop over the course of the story. They go way over the line. Yet, I realize there are elements of truth to each drama. I marvel at the connection that Tevya has with G-d, always feeling the ability to communicate with his Creator at any moment, about any subject, at any time.

The simplicity of their lives. How they lived with so little and how they were so happy. How they thrived in the face of adversity. How they celebrated and mourned as a community. So much of the Fiddler on the Roof and the lives of those who lived in Anatevka depict a golden time for our people. My imagination wonders what happened to them. What was their fate? What is the color of our generation?

I long for the simple life. I yearn for their strength. I yearn for their courage. I yearn.

Hilchos Football - in honor of the Big Game!!

2005-02-02T20:42:00.000+02:00

By my creative, talented and special friend
Rabbi Elly Krimsky

A well-known yeshiva in Brooklyn has recently petitioned its rabbinic leaders to form a yeshiva football league – the yeshiva men would have the opportunity to exercise and have fun at the same time. The proposed league would only include male yeshiva students, and would include uniforms, referees and statistic keepers. Before permitting the students to participate, the Yeshiva heads, not being familiar with the American pastime, had to read the football rulebook.

The organization of Roshei Yeshiva issued a responsa permitting the league contingent upon all of their stipulations being met. It goes without saying that the league would need to unswervingly conform to halacha.

Below are excerpts from the responsa issued by the yeshiva deans which includes a Halachic analysis of many issues pertaining to football.

I. Pigskin
May a pigskin football be used? There is no prohibition of deriving benefit from a non-kosher dead animal. There is no concern with deriving benefit from pigskin. But there is a concern of deriving benefit from a mixture of kosher meat and kosher milk, and gaining benefit from chametz on Pesach. The roshei yeshiva were concerned that the pig may have eaten chametz on Pesach, and as such, its skin gained nourishment from the consumption of chametz on Pesach.

There is, however, another issue with pigskin, namely the curse associated with raising them (see Menachos 64b).

The roshei yeshiva strongly suggested that a non-pig skin ball be used.

II. Penalties
It was deemed ‘ayin hara’ for the referees to call out the numbers of those players that were charged with penalties. A compromise was reached that would give the referees one of three options.

1. They could call a holding penalty on “not 47” of the offense. This could be a bit confusing because declining a penalty would involve too many double negatives.

2. They could quote the verse from Psalms 119 (which has 176 verses) corresponding to the jersey number of the person penalized. This would work as follows: the referee would call out “Off sides, zos haysa li ki fikudecha notzarti – Defense.” The scorekeepers would know that this is verse 56 and would charge the penalty against defensive player #56. This too would be impractical. Only Sephardic judges could be used in this scenario because no Ashkenazim know all of Psalms 119 by heart. The g’dolim ruled that the entire verse must be quoted due to the concept of kol pasuk d’lo pasak Moshe Rabbeinu anan lo paskinan (Ta’anis 27b; Megillah 22a). Furthermore, it was ruled that if the verse is read in havara sepharadit, the referees would be penalized from their salary and the penalty would not count.

3. The player that receives the penalty would need to take the specially designed coins used for the toin-coss, which will double as approved coins for both pidyon haben and machtzis hashekel, and take the amount of coins that represent half of his number and present them to the judge. The idea behind this is that it takes more than one person to commit a penalty (even off sides) and no player is a whole. Furthermore, the Breslaver team insisted that the coins have a heart on it because there’s nothing as whole as a broken heart.

III. Status of Referees
Since the referees are testifying to the truth of the plays on the field, they are functioning as both dayanim and eidim. All referees need to be fully shomer shabbos and demonstrate their unswerving fear of heaven. Any ref using a crock pot on Shabbos without placing a rock or marble in between the crock and the metal to avoid the possible issue of hatmanah, and/or not wrapping the removable crock pot in tin foil as a blech, will not be allowed to serve. Any referee relying on the leniency of Rav Moshe Feinstein to make tea in a kli shlishi, not making sense before Shabbos can only become an umpire or line judge – not a full referee. All refs must have at least acquired the status of ref-ref b’hilchos football. The head ref must have completed study to become Yadin Yadin b’hilchos football. The league commissioner must need to be qualified to be podeh b'choros.

IV. Measuring for first downs
One of the rules of football is that the team on offense accomplishes a first-down once ten yards are gained in four chances (called downs). If the refs can’t tell with their naked eyes if ten yards have been gained, they bring out a chain that measures exactly ten yards; if the football is within the chain, the first down is not accomplished. The roshei yeshiva would not permit a 10 yard measuring chain because the Mishna in Eiruvin (5:4) describes a 50 cubit rope that is employed to measure eiruvei t’chumin. Since the mesorah talks of this 50 cubit rope (approximately 100 feet or 33 yards), it would be blasphemous to use a different means to measure. The roshei yeshiva declared that two 50 cubit ropes would be used – one according to Rav Chaim Na’eh and the other according to the measurements of the Chazon Ish.

V. Reviewing a play

Of late, the National Football League has allowed a video review of a play. A team can ask for a challenge. The head referee looks at the play on a video monitor from a variety of angles. If the ruling is not reversed, the team that requested the review is charged with a time-out.

The roshei yeshiva were uncomfortable with reviewing plays. What follows are some of their reasons.

1. There is a large dispute in Halachic literature regarding breirah. Loosely translated, the dispute revolves around after-the-fact retroactive decision-making. To avoid such a dispute, the rabbis ruled to avoid it.

2. The judge is to rule according to his best abilities. That is all that the Torah asks. Yiftach b’doro k’Shmuel b’doro. Since we believe that the da’as Torah of the dayanim is based upon siyata dishmaya, we must not second-guess their decisions even if they’re dead wrong.

3. Even if the judge says what is right is left and visa versa, we must abide by their ruling.

4. The league couldn’t afford video cameras.

VI. Flea-flickers and lateral plays

The Roshei Yeshiva will not permit lateral plays and flea flickers. They would only permit plays that began with the center hiking the ball to the quarterback and then the quarterback handing the ball or throwing the ball to a third player. They ruled on several Halachic grounds.

1. Giving gratitude or hakaras hatov is such a fundamental trait of the Jew. Kol Ha’omer davar b’sheim omro mevi ge’ulah l’olam. We know the center gives the ball to the quarterback, but it becomes too complicated to be makir tov if too many players are involved with a play.

2. We have a concept codified in Jewish law, “kol hamaschil mitzvah omrim lo g’mor” – whomever begins the mitzvah is encouraged to complete it (see Orach Chayim 585:4). The one who gets the ball from the quarterback should be encouraged to finish the play.

VII. Chavalah - tackling
If a player is hurt as a result of a tackle, may he ask for financial restitution? Halacha states that if someone injures his fellow he must pay up to five types of payments– damage; pain; medical costs; the money lost from one’s livelihood and embarrassment. If a player is tackled and any of these injuries apply, the refs will immediately call a timeout and convene as a besdin to ascertain the damages. They will rely on the opinion of the Tur (Choshen Mishpat 421:3) that one is only obligated to pay remuneration for pain, medical expenses and lack of livelihood if the injury was intentional. The roshei yeshiva insisted that all members of the opposite team sign waivers that were developed by their attorneys.

The Roshei Yeshiva suggested that all games, including the playoffs, should take place on Purim (Shushan Purim in Yerushalayim). They stressed that the league officials are not bound by this suggestion. Their rationale based itself on the ‘yesh omrim’ mentioned in the RAMA (Orach Chayim 695:2) that one is exempt from financial restitution if the damage took place on Purim as a result of ‘simchas Purim.’ They, of course, follow the distinction of the BACH, that this only applies to minor damage.

VIII. Bracha on Gatorade

Does the coach of the wining team need to recite a bracha before getting several gallons of Gatorade poured over his head? If the answer is yes, since we make brachos before the action, would the players need to tell him first?

Since it was deemed that the coach would probably inadvertently drink Gatorade, because it would trickle down from his soaking head, he should make a bracha before the game and a shomer would be assigned to assure that he did not go 72 minutes without taking a taste of the Gatorade. It was also ruled that all chametz must be removed from the sidelines from the 4th quarter and on, lest a situation of gebrokths create an insensitive situation for some.

For some reason or another, the yeshiva football league never took off. You know what they say. Bar mitzvah is when a Jewish boy realizes that he has a better chance of owning a professional sports franchise than playing for one.

Copyright 2003

Coincidence Continued

2005-02-02T01:00:00.000+02:00

A few posts ago, I shared my encounter with coincidence. I would like to now tell the rest of the story. So I went to the Cemetery in Beit Shemesh for Hal Shmichels’s unveiling. It was very meaningful for Hal’s family and I am glad that it worked out for me to be there. But there is more to the story.

As I was leaving the cemetery, I stopped to wash my hands, a traditional hand washing done when leaving a cemetery. As I was washing, I noticed a familiar face. It was Rabbi Geller, the former Rabbi from Malden, MA who now lives in Baltimore, MD.

He saw me and said, “Moshe, what are you doing here?” I asked him the same question! Rabbi Geller told me that he came to Israel for Bill Rubin’s 1st yartzeit. Let me explain. Bill Rubin was a young man who lived in Malden. Bill was the backbone of Beth Israel and for many years he was in charge of their youth program. I was close with Bill for many years until sadly, he passed away last year of a brain tumor. Rabbi Geller continued, “I’m not sure if we’ll have a minyan, can you stay?” In the end, they had nine who came for the minyan, I was the 10th. A memorial prayer and the kaddish could be said.

Coincidence, maybe….but the story continues. As I was leaving the cemetery, I saw the name Bookspan on a tombstone, Rabbi Oskar Bookspan. Let me explain. When we moved to Brookline from Lowell in 1996, I wanted my son to sit next to an old man in shul. I had grown up in a shul of old men. There is something about the character of shul where the median age is between 70-80! I think that so much of my character, for better or worse has been defined because I grew up in shul with a bunch of old men. The herring, the kvetches, the GAS! Sometimes there was so much wind in shul we thought the windows were open… and there were no windows!

Anyway, moving into a more modern and younger community, this was something I wanted for my son, who was 7 at the time. There were 2 empty seats in the front left of the synagogue. 2 empty seats next to an old man, Rabbi Oscar Bookspan. We took those seats and for the next 4 years, my son was able to enjoy the character of this sweet, kind and gentle old man. He passed away in 2000 and I remember how our son cried when hearing the news. He funeral was held in Israel and we never knew where he was buried. Never knew until today.

Now I can take my son to visit his old friend. I left a few stones for Bill and Rabbi Bookspan and told them both I would return. Sometimes G-d taps you on the shoulder and sometimes he hits you over the head. Coincidence? Not a chance!

Heal the World

2005-01-31T16:36:00.000+02:00

I am not a big fan of Michael Jackson but my wife loves his music and the way that boy (I think he’s a boy) can move. I have all sorts of jokes about the guy in my repartee but most of them are unfit for printing. I do like the one about that little guy Webster…remember him? He was pieced together over the years from all the parts they removed from Michael …but I am getting off topic. Driving to Jerusalem this morning, I was listening to the Thriller CD that was left in the car. The last song on the CD is called Heal the World. For some unexplained reason, tears welled up in my eyes and I began to cry. As I listened to the words of this song, I could hear the voices of children singing about a better world, a better place and a life worth living. Now it is not uncommon for me to cry when moved my emotional moments. My father is, grandfather and my great-grandfather were “softies” as my Zadie would say. I seemed to have inherited this generic trait. The Lenscrafter commercial on the radio made me cry and I cry during movies where animals die. I was such a basket case during the movie My Dog Skip, it scared my kids! This is why I avoid movies where people die of natural causes. So yes, I am an emotional person and I do my best to suppress this. I have told my son that real men do cry, but there is a limit. I mean, was there really any reason to cry during the movie Against the Ropes, starring Meg Ryan, probably not.

Last week as part of my travels, I was in the US for the international conference for Jewish outreach professionals, AJOP. It is a great event where those involved with kiruv from all over the world come together to share ideas, programs and creativity. Many prominent rabbis are in attendance to provide chizzuk, inspiration and guidance for the many challenging circumstances these young rabbis face in a turbulent and often unforgiving world of community service.

During my travels it is often very lonely and I have way too much time on my hands to think, especially when I am driving. (Yes, Torah tapes, yes news, yes, music but most of all I think, think, think) For me, unfortunately, this is a dangerous thing…almost a work hazard. Recently, I have had something new to think about. Because of the new blogging culture, that I have been introduced to and we are all apart of. I have been introduced to pain and suffering on a magnitude I can’t explain. I have read the plight of young woman who have been physically and sexually abused, teens contemplating suicide, “frum” people leading hidden lives, those struggling with gender identity, off the derech teens who want to return and a “system” that wont welcome them back. To read about their pain and suffering and not be moved by their devastating “real life” experiences would not be human.

The anonymity of blogging has given people an outlet to express their pain and I imagine this can only be good. But for someone like me to read these tales and not be able to help in anyway is so very painful. I am not a therapist, (although I am married to a great one) and I do not feel I am slightest bit equipped nor do I have the time necessary to confront the intensity of pain that burdens these souls. I have read only a few blogs, linked to a few, linked to a few, etc., etc., etc. There are so many, there is so much pain, it saddens me terribly. How can I help?

I have the privilege of being involved with outreach and youth work for over 25 years, sometimes as a volunteer and sometimes as a paid professional. I would wage money on anyone who could quote me as ever saying that, “I made someone frum.” I would never say that because I don’t believe it to be true. No one makes people frum. People decide to make these tough choices on their own. A good kiruv worker may facilitate a process, but never more than that. I could probably tell you how many people I have “turned off” over the years, this is much clearer for me to see. So to all those who invested in me, holy community funds, over the years, where is the return on their investment? Is the world a better place? OK, yes, I admit, I am doing my weekly, monthly or hourly DM/self esteem bashing, but this is the first time I am committing this to print. SO now it’s not only in my head anymore. I am probably harder on myself than anyone; I think it is supposed to be that way, I think?

To be continued, maybe:

We all need inspirational moments

2005-01-31T13:15:00.000+02:00

Inspirational moments of renewal can often be found at moments of greatest struggle.

The Last Kaddish:

Jewish tradition dictates that the life affirming, G-d affirming Kaddish prayer is said a total of thirteen times during the course of the three prayer services on an average day. It is said for 11 months of the 12-month mourning period which follows the death of a parent, but only for 30 days if the deceased is a sibling, spouse or child. Etched in my memory: ‘that’ night at 2:00 AM in the ICU at Shadyside Hospital, our friend Dovie Nadoff and Rabbi Wasserman... Rabbi Wasserman, in response to Nina’s question, saying that the mourning period for children is only 30-days. Nina was initially shocked until Dovie pointed out that no matter what, you’ll be mourning for much longer than 30-days, rules or no rules.

So the practice is, parents who have the horrible experience of losing a child follow the mourning practices and say Kaddish at services for 30-days. At the end of the 30-days, I really did not feel like it had been enough. So I asked Rabbi Miller if it was appropriate to extend it. He said that it was okay, but since I have a living parent, and since our first Kaddish obligation is to parents, that it would be proper to ask my Mother for permission to continue saying Kaddish for the year. Realizing the extent of the commitment – a year of scheduling around shifting sunsets, dovetailing travel plans with available minyanim (synagogues’ scheduled services with their required quorum of 10) I talked it over in the final days of Shloshim (the 30-day initial period of mourning) with a few close friends.

Mikey’s doctor, Joel Weinberg, who worked as G-d’s partner to give us extra years with Mikey, settled any questions I had with a quiet but sincere, “I would.” Then, I asked my mother for permission. She also had an appreciation for the extent of the commitment being undertaken. And she replied with the slightly cynical humor that Mikey and I long-ago adopted as our own; “I don’t mind at all”, she said... “Unless you need an ‘Out’!”

So I did it. With Nina’s constant encouragement, routinely accompanied by Uri and JJ, from Ohio to Israel, from Los Angeles to New York, from Toronto to St. Louis, I came very close to 100% compliance. Besides the spiritual value, it’s an incredible piece of social engineering: the placement of Kaddish requires being there on time and staying until the end. Back home, in truly bizarre fashion, I alternated between Pittsburgh’s two major non-Lubavitch synagogues: Poale Zedeck and Shaare Torah. They are best described using a computer analogy; Poale Zedeck is Microsoft’s Internet Explorer- a reliable web browser providing a wide array of services that has successfully served for over eighty years in the same place. Readily accessible, open to all, consistent- but without serious competition for so long, in some aspects lacking the creative edge that competition should have engendered.

Shaare Torah, on the other hand, is Firefox, the new upstart web browser: not as many minyanim, offering only a 6:30 AM morning option, while Poale Zedeck has a 6:00, a 7:00, and an 8:00, but with creativity and flair that is attracting more and more ‘downloads’, a burgeoning membership, much younger, more enthusiastic, unbound by convention.

In the morning, Poale Zedeck seemed like the most appropriate choice; depending on when I had to be in court I could be at the 6, the 7... well, let’s face it- I could rarely stay up late enough to be at the 6AM. The 7 is conducted backwards from 7:30, and starts before 7. So the 8 was generally my choice (unfortunately there is no 9!) The customers at the 8AM are mostly retirees, except around the holiday time when returning Yeshiva students overrun the place! Shaare Torah in the afternoon struggles to reach the quorum in time for sunset, but always seems to make it, and every day 50% of the people were not there the day before, so there’s a real turnover and a wide range of participants. The Rabbi is always around, sometimes recruiting right off the street, jumping in his van to pick people up, and arranging for rides home. Both are comfortable friendly places where it seemed appropriate to memorialize Mikey. Both places, with a wink at strict custom, pretended that my self-imposed Kaddish- saying elevated me to a ‘priority’ for leading the Services, and let me do so as often as possible- generally, giving me the opportunity to lead at least one Service per day.

Rabbi Miller said I could carry it to eleven months and three weeks. When saying Kaddish for parents, one only says it for eleven months, the theory being that since Kaddish scores points for the deceased (especially parents) and since there are Rabbinic sources for the idea that someone who deserves it spends twelve months “down below”, and since no one would want to give the impression that his parents could possibly deserve to go “down below’, so nobody says it for more than 11 months, so as not to create the wrong public impression. I’m oversimplifying a little, but you could buy the book.

In the past month or so, as the last Kaddish has approached, I’ve tried to ascertain if it’s permissible to ‘keep going’, never wanting to stop. And formally signify the end of the mourning period -even my self-imposed made-up mourning period- is just one more final step of removal from Mikey. Even in this time of thousands of Tsunami victims, whose horrible deaths and terrible loss to the people who loved them, Mikey’s struggle still looms large in our minds for the 24years that he put in, and for the generous and humorous and selfless and optimistic attitude that he demonstrated without fail.

I don’t want these things to be lost. I don’t want these things to fade away. I want Mikey’s memory and the tragedy of his passing to be a happy story that gets told and retold for the wonder of a kid who not only wouldn’t quit, but wouldn’t quit smiling!

A day has not passed that at some quiet moment, we do not cry. Time heals, and the incredible joy and mazel (good fortune) that has sustained us this year, as we marry off the second of our children, and revel in the pure joy we feel at the remarkable choices our children have made. Two weddings and a funeral. It’s been a big year. The sad part had to end. We pray that the happy part never will. So Wednesday was the last day.

The Morning Service at Poale Zedeck, Dr. Sachs , the man in charge, applying a range of hand-signals that would have been the envy of any third-base coach, directed me to take over midway for the non-mourner who had arrived earlier than I. With the ease born of life-long practice, I followed the printed schedule that indicates a time when each part of the service should be reached. Jealously guarding my reputation as the fastest leader in the congregation, I brought the Service home to spec, right on time, as expected. - and I said the Kaddish in the end with a certain melancholy, knowing that my life would be different from now on.

I had a tough day in Court, and barely made it in time for the afternoon/Mincha service. Nina, who had lived vicariously through all of this for the year, called me- almost every hour, flush with wedding details and complications, clearly wanting to hear my reaction as I wound down my self-imposed semi-official extended mourner’s status. In our unique system- as a male- I had a distinct advantage over Nina... There’s a clearly defined role for me, something for me to do, several times a day that connects me with Mikey. I had the opportunity to embrace the therapeutic value of public proclamation that is the Kaddish.

Wednesday afternoon I didn’t get there in time to lead the service. At the end I said Kaddish, which was followed immediately by the Evening Service, which is the first of the next-day’s Service. At the end of that service, at the point when, during the past year, I would have recited the Kaddish, I stood silently, giving the appropriate responses of a ‘regular’ participant, to those who were saying it: the elderly man who has never gotten over the demise of his wife, and the man representing the synagogue who has undertaken to do it everyday for a list of the deceased who did not have the advantage of sons who would undertake it... But not me.

My Kaddish, distinctive for its volume and cadence, had become so much a part of the fabric of the little group that Rabbi Wasserman, standing at the front of the chapel looked suddenly back at me. I slowly raised my hands palm-up to signify that that was ‘it’. As I silently communicated with the Rabbi, my tears welling up again, he, too, realizing the gravity of the moment, nodded slowly with slightly shiny eyes himself. He had earned the right with a thousand visits to Mikey.

This week we observe Mikey’s yahrzeit, the first anniversary of his death, and we marry off our daughter, Shoshi, to the guy she brought to meet Mikey in the ICU on the weekend that she met him- a guy we have all learned to love, a guy who came to Pittsburgh for Mikey’s Shiva ostensibly to drive Gavri’s car from New York, and stayed until the very end, a guy whose warmth and humor and decency and love for our daughter, Shoshi- are everything we could have wanted.

And then there was the problem of the Yahrzeit. There were so many things we wanted to do to mark the day. We did not want Mikey’s memory to be diminished by non-observance of that special day. In fact, a whole group of NCSY kids studying in Israel, many of whom were there last March when we had the ‘Shloshim”, thirty-day remembrance, insisted- through the miracle of cell phones and e-mail- that there be some function in Mikey’s memory. Through the guidance and help for Rabbi Tzali Friedman, our NCSY Regional director, who keeps in touch with ‘his kids’ – the dozens and dozens he sends to Israel each year-and my sister Fayge of course (while she plans for their son Adir’s wedding in LA the following week) there will actually be a memorial to Mikey in Jerusalem on the day of his Yahrzeit.

Because of Shosh’s wedding, we’re going to delay it a little in Pittsburgh (the Yahrzeit is Thursday, the wedding is Sunday). We’ve begun discussions about something involving Mikey’s favorite topics: genetic testing, Jewish dating practices and their interrelationship. One of Mikey’s mentors at Yeshiva University, a man that he had the temerity to regard has his Rebbe, his Bio prof, and his friend, Rabbi Dr. Moshe Tendler, agreed to come to Pittsburgh sometime in February to address the topic. We can’t imagine a topic or a speaker that would have been more to Mikey’s liking (Rabbi Wein was kind enough to speak at the Remembrance/Azkara in Jerusalem back in February).

With the wedding looming, it was still a puzzle to us what would be appropriate for the day of Mikey’s Yahrzeit. Sure, I’ll go to shul. I’ll even lead the Services. I’ll be called to the Torah that day. Sure, we’ll talk about him. We’ll even visit him in the cemetery-(I know Nina, it’s not really Mikey there). But, we needed something more. So we decided something so simple, and so appropriate, that we’re sure Mikey would have been thrilled: Nina and I have appointments to go down to the Blood Bank and give platelets. It takes about an hour and a half. It’s a wholly satisfying opportunity to help somebody as desperately in need as Mikey once was. Incidentally, Poale Zedeck scheduled a blood drive for Sunday, December 9th. So wherever you are----

His entire life, Mikey was never well enough to be able to give blood or platelets. A year ago at this time, the girl at the front desk in the downtown office of the Pittsburgh Blood Bank knew Mikey’s social security number by heart. There were pages and pages of donors who designated Mikey as their recipient, right up to the bitter end, he used those blood products and platelets. We were endlessly grateful for the generosity of an array of friends and acquaintances, so this week- if you have a chance- go to the Poale Zedeck Blood Drive or go to the Blood Bank. If you can, give platelets. If you’re in another city, there are places to go there, too.

It’s a year later now, so to most people you encounter, it won’t mean much that you’re doing it in memory of Mikey Butler, but if you have it in your heart, it will definitely count. Thirty days wasn’t enough. Eleven months and three weeks wasn’t enough. From now on every happy occasion will be tinged with the uncertainty for the future that our experience has taught us to expect and accept. And a melancholy longing for the past that we enjoyed so much. Overshadowing that will be the optimism, the conviction, that there IS a purpose to it all, and that it’s all for the best, and that G-d knows what He’s doing, and that we can participate in G-d’s work by doing our jobs the best that we can. I learned those things from Mikey.

As we expand the Mikey Butler Foundation, we hope to spread that message so that he won’t be forgotten.

Give blood. Hug your children. Appreciate the moment.
May you know the joy and satisfaction of caring friends and relatives .May you feel the pride in children who instinctively make choices that reflect the values you tried to impart to them.

Day by Glorious Day.
Danny (and Nina too)

January 10, 2005

Rosh Chodesh Shvat

The Afikim Foundation is pleased to offer this moment of encouragement.

On the road again

2005-01-22T19:41:00.000+02:00

I'll be off line until next week. Shavua Tov!

Freedom Roast -Even cows hate the French

2005-01-20T13:03:00.000+02:00

Freedom Roast

Even our Israeli butcher has a sense of humor. My wife took this out to make for shabbos and when I saw this, I almost plazted!

Found my counter and...

2005-01-18T23:08:00.000+02:00

Hey, I found my counter and I figured out how to link to other blogs! This has got be the paradigm of procrastination! With so much to do, I figured this would be the best use of my time. Yeah right!

Help, I lost my counter!

2005-01-18T20:57:00.000+02:00

I figured out how to link a few blogs but I lost my counter! Any ideas how to get it back will be greatly appreciated

A New View

2005-01-18T17:58:00.000+02:00

My wife said that the format of my blog was hard to read. So I hope this is easier for her. See, I listen sometimes :)

To Honor the Memory of Mikey Butler, A year ago this week

2005-01-18T14:05:00.000+02:00

I was in the Segula band that played for the Central East Region of NCSY from 1986-1988. We were in Pittsburgh, PA for a shabbaton in 1987 and truthfully there is not much about the shabbaton that I remember. What I do remember is a gentleman coming over to me on shabbos to ask me if his son could sit in for our drummer on Motzei Shabbos. It is something that every bandleader expects will happen and something that every bandleader usually regrets he let happen. But we were a nice college NCSY band and we usually gave in to these request. So motzei shabbos came along and this little pisher of a kid came and sat in for our drummer. The difference this time however was that this kid was good. He was not only good, he was great. It’s not that he was only great, he was 8 years old!! I remember getting off the stage to watch him play. (I remember it was a very small stage) His father began telling me that his son had sat in for some big time drummers, raving like any proud father would. Shalom Aleychim, My name is Danny Butler, that is my son Mikey.

Almost 10 years later, after graduating college, leaving the band, and the health care industry, I became the Regional Director of New England NCSY.

At my second National Convention, A young man came over to me that I had not seen in years. His name was Rafi Estrin. I had known Rafi as a little boy in Providence, RI where he lived when I was in Yeshiva. During my years in Providence, I had developed a special relationship with this little boy and his family. We used to call him spitchekup, which literally means pointy-head! When his family moved to Pittsburgh we lost touch. I was so happy to see him and to learn that he was working with NCSY and making such an impression on so many NCSYers in the Central East region. At the shabbaton he introduced me to his friend, Mikey Butler.

I’m not sure when it was that I developed a relationship with Danny. Enough of a relationship that when I asked him to come to New England and speak for us at a shabbaton, he agreed. During my tenure, he spoke for us twice. Those were unforgettable events. At one event, he mentioned to me that our band had, “major suckage problems.” I’ll never forget how he changed that adjective into a verb. It was only a short time later that Mikey began as the drummer for NER.

Mikey was a great drummer. Everyone knows that. What people may not have known was that he never accepted payment for any jobs. Not one. I tried to pay him several times but he would never accept it. Mikey did more than play drums for us. He was also an advisor who gave sessions, optional sessions and spoke at length with our kids. When I needed a nap, he was still going strong.

Mikey gave kids chizuk and he taught them perspective. I still don’t know if kids really understood how sick Mikey was. All those times, playing drums with the O2 tank by his side. I don’t know if anyone really appreciated what the prognosis is for someone with CF. You certainly could not tell from Mikey. Or maybe he just gave you hope otherwise.

Once when we had a last minute cancellation and we needed a guest speaker, Mikey filled in. Mikey spoke in part, about our friend Rafi who had recently passed away from CF. If I close my eyes, I can still hear that subtle pause to emphasize a point, that drop in his voice to capture a moment and the anguish I felt when he would cough and clear his throat. (Hearing a CF cough can take your breath away) Mikey was captivating, he was funny he was inspiring, he was just 20. He never gave any indication to the NCSYers that he knew he was destined to the same fate as his friend Rafi. Mikey was not looking for pity from these kids. But, he must have known. He was a smart kid. So how did he do it? How did he continue day after day, day after glorious day with such a positive attitude?

I remember when I first learned that he took up to 70 doses of pills each day. When you take 2 Advil for a headache, it is hard to imagine what 70 doses of medications looks like. When he stayed in our home in Brookline, I remember going into the guest room and seeing these huge containers of pills. They were like industrial size jugs that he had to lug around with him from place to place. 70 doses are still hard to imagine.

Mikey took these incredible challenges with him where ever he went. His oxygen, his pills, his lungs, Mikey could not escape this reality. But Mikey understood his reality.
Mikey taught me/us that you don’t have to accept the inevitable. You can embrace the inevitable. HaShem has given us all strengths and limitations. We each have the opportunity to take our limitations and make them our strengths.

People greater than I have waxed philosophical about Mikey’s life and the impact of his death. All I can do is remember a kid, whose spirit inspired others. Whose infectious rhythm and passion for life penetrated the depths of our hearts and gave hope to so many. I’ll always remember a kid who on the surface seemed less fortunate than I, yet sometimes I wish that I could have just a portion of his faith, his courage and his will.

May his memory be for a blessing and may the merit of all those people he inspired and whose spirits he lifted in his short meaningful life give an aliyah to his neshomoh.

I used to think….

2005-01-16T16:15:00.000+02:00

When I first began working with teens, I thought they came to our programs because they had questions. After some time, I realized they were not coming to programs because they had questions. I determined that they came because they were looking for answers. After many years, and a few great hairs, I came to a new realization. The kids were not coming to programs because they had questions and they were not coming because they were looking for answers. They came to us, because they were looking for someone to listen.

Do threats really work?

2005-01-13T11:11:00.000+02:00

I have an expression that I use with my kids. It’s not a very pleasant image. “I’ll rip your lips off and feed them to the dogs!” The kids know that I say this in jest to get their attention. I have never really ripped their lips off, top or bottom, I promise.

The other evening I threatened our 12-going on 20 year old with this familiar warning. Of course, she responded, “G0 ahead, I don’t care!” For several moments there was an awkward silence in the house as the tension slowly reached its peak. Just at that moment, our 5 year old looked up from the book she was reading on the couch and said, “it’s gona hurt!”

What happened to Tolerance?

2005-01-12T22:05:00.000+02:00

I was reading a blog from a young lady who has some very interesting insights. Unfortunately, she has had some very unsettling experiences that have reflected poorly on certain members our faith. In the past, I have noticed that these types of events open the floodgates of negative sentiments. The feelings these strong emotions generate seem to put the entire idea of tolerance on hold. To this, I would like to share the following thoughts.

Several months ago I was traveling thru rural Pennsylvania Dutch country. I was somewhat startled when waiting at a red light, a horse drawn buggy pulled up next to me! It was surreal. I have never seen this before except years ago in the movie Witness, starring Harrison Ford and Kelly McGillis. It reminded me of the following true story.

One hot summer day, a modern Jewish person happened upon a man dressed entirely in black. Black hat, long beard, long black coat and white shirt, the works. He noticed as well that the woman he was with was also dressed in an extraordinarily modest way. Hair covered, long dress and long sleeves. The modern person sneered. He looked at the man and in wild excitement, started berating this “old fashioned” Jewish man. “Can’t you get with the program? It’s the 21st Century. Can’t you see that you are behind the times? No one dresses the way you do anymore. It’s 100 degrees out here. For G-d sakes, shed a few layers and take a shave!” This went on for a while. When he finally had a chance to take a breath, the man with the black hat, long beard, and long black coat who had been listening quite intently with the extremely modest woman at his side, responded, “Um, Speke’ de Duetch?”

To his shock and horror, the modern Jewish man realized his error immediately? He thought he had confronted an ultra Orthodox Jewish Chassid. But really it was an Amish man and his wife. “Oh my goodness,” he said, “I am so sorry. Please, please accept my apology. I really do admire your adherence to your ancient traditions. It is so honorable that your people have withstood the temptations of modern society, maintained the purity of lifestyle and your heritage. I have the utmost respect for your people and the lifestyle you have chosen to live. Please forgive any disrespect I may have shown you and your people.”

The man with the black hat and long black coat who had been listening quite intently, with the extremely modest woman at his side only smiled and took the hands of this modern Jewish man.

In broken English, he said the following. “To your own people, you have lost respect and admiration for age old customs. To your own people you discourage maintaining the integrity of ancient traditions. Yet, to a stranger you honor their beliefs, commitment and religious faithfulness.”

As the man with the black hat, long beard and long black coat and the extremely modest woman drove away in their big black Buick with a New York licence plate, the modern Jewish man noticed a bumper sticker on the back of the car, which read, “We want Moshiach Now!”

There is an amazing article by Marvin Shick that demonstrates this better than I can. But unfortunately, I have seen time and time again that the call for religious tolerance is a one-way street. I don’t like the word tolerance in the first place. We have a mandate to tolerate anyone to our left, but once we venture to the right, which is anything beyond our center, the concept of tolerance seems to disappear. You drive on Shabbat, that’s OK. Your Gay, welcome to the club! You want me to dress modestly in your neighborhood, GO TO HELL! Um, hello? People of tolerance should respect and admire the passions, wishes and differences of anyone created in the image of G-d. Actually, people of tolerance should respect and admire the passions, wishes and differences of those who act with the spirit of someone who has been created in the image of G-d.

My blessing to myself and to anyone who may read this (bless me back) would be, may we learn to respect one another. May we have the courage be sensitive to other people’s sensitivities, even when it may make us uncomfortable, and may we always see the good in people who are intrinsically good, because we are all created in the image of G-d.

It’s kind of funny

2005-01-11T23:48:00.000+02:00

My wife tells me that people other than Ed are actually read this blog!

Coincidence is G-d’s middle name

2005-01-10T23:10:00.000+02:00

Today my wife and I took a short morning trip to Yaffo to get our sons electric piano repaired. Because of a recent archeological discovery, the road configurations had been rerouted. It is hard enough navigating the roads in this city and we were unable to figure out exactly how to reach our destination. So we parked a few blocks away and with the roland piano on my shoulder, we walked a few blocks to the music repair shop. It's an amazing little store in the middle of ancient Yaffo. After taking care of all the paper work, we decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and took a little stroll through the streets of Yaffo. We stood for a while on the promenade overlooking the beautiful ocean, noticing the colors, the birds, the sand and tried to appreciate awesome power of the ocean. Then we walked through the small narrow alleys of this ancient city, poking our heads into a few art galleries, and just enjoying each others company on this beautiful day.

At one point during our walk, we had the choice of going right or left at a fork in the path. As a compromise, we took the middle path that was really not a path at all. As we made our way up this hill that reached a fantastic overlook of Tel Aviv and Yaffo, I noticed a group of students who were sitting on the grass learning. Whenever I see a group of kids, regardless of their ages, I always stop. It dives SB crazy! As I was looking at this group, I could sense that this was probably one of the many birthright groups who have traveled to Israel for winter break. I was looking at the rabbi/teacher and yes, he looked familiar. He was wearing dark sunglasses and I was not that close to see his face. The guard was in the back and I asked him if this group was from Brooklyn College. He said yes! I then asked, is the name of the Rabbi, Reuven? Again he said yes. I realized that Rabbi Reuven was one of graduates of the program I work for. I have visited him a few times during my travels. We embraced, exchanged shalom aleychems (greetings), phone numbers and left him with a great story to share with his group that there is no such thing as coincidence, especially when you take the middle path.

But there is more...

When I finally got back to my office I had to call JEWEL for one of my former NCSYers who is in Israel on a separate birthright trip. She plans on staying a few extra days and would like to learn a little while she is here. So I looked on the Internet, found the number and placed my call. The woman who answered had a bubbiish voice, was very kind and had all sorts of helpful information to share. Of course after we sorted thru the important details, she then started playing Jewish geography. “Where are you from?” Boston, I replied. I rarely say Lowell because most people have never heard of it. “Boston,” she exclaimed. “I am from Waltham.” Waltham is small town about 25 minutes from Lowell. It is most famous for as the city with one of the most expensive college tuitions in the country, Brandeis. “Lowell, did you know my Uncle Hal Shmichels? (name has been changed) It just so happened that I did know her uncle and this is when the story becomes amazing. Her uncle was a disabled veteran. He and 5 other disabled Jewish veterans some how ended up a run down veterans home in Lowell. Their disabilities were not physical, but rather psychological. When our shul rabbi found out, he made sure that they got kosher food and lots of other things that they really appreciated. One thing that I know they loved was coming to shul. The rabbi would pick them up each morning and afternoon for minyan. They loved the environment, the community and the rabbi would usually be sure they had breakfast and dinner in shul. It was a great chesed and it helped the minyan. From time to time, the rabbi would ask me to fill in and pick the veterans up for shul. It was an easy mitzvah to help him with.
I shared this story with the bubbie on the other line and I could tell that she was crying. She said, “so few people who knew my Uncle, my mothers brother.” She continued, “I am not sure if you know this, but Uncle Hal passed away last year. He was not alone when he died. He even had kippa on his head when he died. His last wishes were to buried here in Israel, a wish the rabbi (who had since left the community) helped to fulfill. “I am so happy we have had this opportunity to speak. You see, his Yartzeit is next week and if you could come to beit shemesh for the askara, (memorial service) it would be so meaningful to my mother.”
So many people could have answered the phone at Jewel. So many people could have called Jewel. But I was the one who called and the Bubbi, Uncle Hal niece answered, a week before his yartzit.

My teacher once taught me that there is no such thing as coincidence. Coincidence, he continued is G-d’s middle name.

It was not writer’s cramp

2005-01-08T23:48:00.000+02:00

Thanks to my special Ed for the correction. Actually, I am told that it is called writers block. But I guess you need to be a writer to have either.
So, I’ll choose to call it writers cramp. It makes me feel better.

Questions, Questions, Questions?

2005-01-08T23:41:00.000+02:00

I have been extraordinarily busy these last few weeks. Traveling for work, balancing family, etc. Thank G-d, all good things. As there has been in my line of work, I am sure there has been much discussion on many blogs about that Tsunami tragedy. I unfortunately have not read anything except CNN. I am sure that many contemplate the major questions; could so much loss of life have been prevented and the ultimate, how could G-d let this happen? These are both equal and legitimate questions. It would be impossible for me or anyone to put perspective on a loss that boggles the senses. Even though almost 2 weeks have passed, the enormity of loosing more than155,000 souls, men, woman and children, all who were created in the image of G-d is something we the human mind can not fathom. So, we do the only thing we can do in such a situation, we question G-d. I believe that we have an obligation to question G-d and I don’t think we do it enough. (I feel very sad for the atheist. They have no one to turn to!) But why do we only question G-d when something bad happens? Why don’t we also acknowledge G-d when we experience the mundane as well? When we wake up in the morning, when we able to stand up straight and tall, when our children smile at us, when we turn the key and the car starts. When the sun rises and when the sun sets. Our questions trigger is only exercised for bad experiences. We only question His motives for the bad and not for the good. Are we really worthy of G-d’s kindness when each time we open our eyes and we are able to see, when breathe in and there is enough oxygen to sustain us? Yes, there are so few answers but many lessons to be learned. Appreciate every moment, value the fragility of life, and enjoy our families and friends. But Question! Questions will give is the ability to appreciate each moment. Questioning will allow us to realize that the power of nature should not only be regarded for spectacular events, but that each of the moments in our lives are spectacular events, controlled by this exact same power of nature. Every day has the potential to enjoy the same mystery and awe-inspiring events if we so choose. But we need to open our eyes and look around. At least we can.

Apologies

2005-01-03T10:52:00.000+02:00

Experiencing writers cramp. Hope to begin blogging again soon.

The Day After Thanksgiving – 64 years ago

2004-11-26T13:57:00.000+02:00

Before the holocaust, Warsaw was the center of Jewish life, Talmudic scholarship and culture in Poland. Warsaw's prewar Jewish population was more than 350,000. The Warsaw Jewish community was the largest in both Poland and Europe, and was the second largest in the world, behind that of New York City. The Nazi’s occupied Warsaw on September 29, 1939 and in October 1940, the Germans ordered the establishment of a 2.5 square mile ghetto in Warsaw. All the Jewish residents were ordered into the ghetto, which was sealed off from the rest of the world on November 26, 1940. There was an area of the ghetto called Umshagplatz. This was the staging area where up to 6,000 Jews each day were transported to Treblinka. The average life span for a Jew who arrived at Treblinka was 72 minutes. Over 850 Thousand Jews perished in the 18 months that Treblinka operated. If one tries to compares that number to the 2.5 million who perished over a 4-year period in Auschwitz, one still can’t begin to fathom the precision of Nazi cruelty in Treblinka.

During my tenure with NCSY, I had the privilege of leading 4 groups to Poland, 2 tours with JOLT and 2 tours with the March of the Living. These trips where emotionally grueling and excruciatingly painful. The death, destruction, senselessness and loss of potential are so heartbreaking. All of these experiences have led me to the conclusion, that visiting Poland, the Camps, crematoriums, the pits, the graves, the foundations of destroyed synagogues, the bones, the ashes and bearing witness to what happened there and what once was, must be considered one of the 613 commandments.

When you stand at Umshagplatz today, all that remains is a monument erected with 100’s of Hebrew and Yiddish names you would hear in the ghetto. Just a few feet from Umshagplatz is the main street where there is traffic, streetcars, and pedestrians walking to school and work or just taking a leisurely stroll. They nonchalantly walk past a this place where the laws of mercy did not exist. Where men woman and children were herded off to their deaths in cattle cars. People were shot where we stood. People died of starvation and disease just a few yards away. Children were separated from their parents.

If you close your eyes could you hear their screams and their cries? Can you see the blood stained on the pavement? It is not there. You cannot hear them. A paved sidewalk has replaced it. Commercial traffic drowns the echo! There is no sign of what atrocities occurred in this place. It is important that we are there because our presence perpetuates their memories. Our presence and our actions assure us that what occurred in that place will not be forgotten. It is not only critical that we never forget, we must remember. The monument of Umshagplatz and the many other stone monuments across Poland and Eastern Europe will not guarantee that these events and these lives will be remembered. So this year, on the busiest shopping day of the year, remember what happened on this day 64 years ago. Learn Torah, give charity and do an act of kindness. (chesed) Don’t allow inaction to succeed once again. May their lives be remembered, may their memories be blessed and may our lives be honored and sanctified as the lives they once lived.

A Poem to Remember.
They entered the camp with limited facts,
straight from the tracks,
just the shirts on their backs.
Selected meant living
or immediate death,
they watched and they waited,
with abated breath.
Left went for gas,
right went to hell,
no one there knew
and no one can tell.
Armed with Emunah, Betachon, Jewish pride,
this weapon would not burn,
no matter how hard they tried.
Ashes remain,
so it seems to be so,
that the Nazis succeeded sixty years ago.
Our will remained strong,
and the camps we survived,
and now to live Jewish,
is how we will thrive.
The past will remain,
forever a fact,
our future now dependent,
on how we will act.
So choose a life,
a Kiddush Hashem,
we will always remember,
never again.

Have you ever thought you were dying? A Public Service of the American Heart Association.

2004-11-18T17:22:00.000+02:00

A few nights ago, I was sitting at my desk when all of a sudden I developed massive chest pain. So I did what I normally do when I have pain, I ignored it! I recently turned 39 years old. B”H, I am reasonably fit, have no cholesterol problem, my blood pressure is great, etc. My only chronic problems are a sore back and occasional asthma. So why should I worry.

After about an hour, I thought maybe I had indigestion. My lovely wife had brought me a 300gr hamburger from burgers bar about 4 hours earlier. So I took a few Tums. But it just did not make sense. I eat burgers all the time, and I mean all the time, and this has never happened. When the Tums did not help, my mind started racing .

I started to think about my good friend Sarah and how two of her close friends in their 30’s had died a week earlier. My mind began to recall all of the people from my childhood who felt sick, decided against going to the doctor and dropped dead. Right there in my head, there they were! I remember how my mother would rant and carry on-and-on, “If only he had called the doctor, if only he had been seen in the ER, if he only………” and then I started to hear my mother’s voice. “What? He had chest pain, for 4 hours and he didn’t call the doctor? If he had only ..., if he had only .....,he would not be d…! Then of course she would add, "These things always happen in threes." Yes, the mind can be very creative, especially mine! Is my arm feeling tingly? What are those warning signs, again?

I have always had a tremendous dislike for going to the doctor. Having been associated with the medical field years ago, I know what these people can do to you. My disdain could also stem from when I went to the doctor as kid. I hated when they “checked” you. I choose not to elaborate here but you can use your imagination. I always hated that part! Oy, how these events can leave scars.

After about 4 hours, of having difficulty breathing, I decided, maybe I should go to Terem. Terem is like an emergency room but not in a hospital. There is a very convenient Terem about 10 minutes from our home. I must admit, that I was feeling a bit panicked and I did not want to be another statistic. I tried not to show my concern to SB, I did not want to alarm her. She knows I don't like seeing doctors. If I asked her to take me, she would know I was concerned. At about 10:30pm I asked her calmly, if she could drive me to Terem. I told her that I would have driven myself but I was worried that if something were to happen, she would be stuck with out a car. Not sure if that was the best thing to say, but it was all I could come up with.

When we arrived at Terem, I explained in Hebrew that I had chest pain. After asking for my insurance card, they explained to me that before I left, I would need to pay 60 shequel. Then I was asked to sit in the waiting room. I said to myself, maybe they did not understand me or maybe I said the wrong thing. I thought to myself, Hey, I’m in crisis here, you know this could be an emergency and you want me to sit in the waiting room! I was glad they did not collect the payment right away. I mean, if I collapse in the waiting room, I wont be able to pay your 60 shequel. That will teach them!

After about 10 minutes, I was called in. After asking about my family history where everyone has lived to their 90’s, and determined that I have no risk factors they took my temperature, Normal. Blood pressure, Perfect. EKG, Normal. Chest X-ray to check for spontaneous collapsed lung, hey, it happens sometimes. Clear. Blood test to check for dead heart tissue. Negative! So, says the doctor, your not having a heart attack! Thank G-d I thought. It’s just some muscular skeletal thing. Take some adville and get some rest. It turns out, that after speaking with Dr. Dad, he determined based on my symptoms that I had a virus that affects the lining of the chest wall. The onset can be immediate and can have symptoms that feel like a heart attack. Dr. Dad said that if he was here and had some needles, he would have injected some novacane into the lining of my chest wall to alleviate the discomfort. Great thought. In lieu of Dr. Dad’s needles, he recommended heavy doses of adville and Yes, it did the trick. Both Dr. Dad and the Terem Doc said I did the right thing by having everything checked out. That also made me feel better. No one appreciates a hypochondriac, except my mother.( love you Mom)

So if you think your having a heart attack, do the following:
Call 911 or 101 and/or see your doctor ASAP.
To learn what they real symptoms of a heart attack are, point your web browser to the American heart association.

Enjoy those burgers!

What a joke!

2004-11-15T21:58:00.000+02:00

Yesterday, “PA officials announced that a general election will be held on January 9th. In addition, the Fatah council announced that Abu Mazen will be the only candidate, seeking to eliminate the threat of competing against Marwan Barghouti and others who are setting their sights on the PA leadership role.”

We might as well call him "the late" Abu Mazen. I give this guy less than two weeks and I think that is being generous! No people, this is not a death threat, just a new reality for PA officials. Maybe they'll change the PA charter to give their new Chairman weekly terms! That’s about all they will live to serve.

No Opportunity Wasted indeed! An absolute must see if you love Etan G!

2004-11-14T11:39:00.000+02:00

With only three days and three thousand dollars... to produce and shoot a professional music video for one of his songs, have it reviewed by an A-list Rap Artist or Music Industry Executive, and have his mother present during the meeting so he could prove to her once and for all that his career as a Rap Artist is legitimate.

In typical Etan G fashion, the insanity didn't stop there, because... as timing would have it... Etan's wife was going to be induced eight hours after his dream began to birth their first child!

Did he achieve his dream?

Watch the episodes to find out!

Use inspiration to channel negative energy

2004-11-14T01:13:00.000+02:00

I have been distressed over world reaction to the death of Arafat. I have found it nauseating to see such an evil excuse for a human specimen, responsible for so much pain and suffering, recognized and lauded by world leaders. To read about and watch the trendsetter of hostage taking, airplane hijacking, school massacres, and suicide bombings receive prime time on CNN and most of the major networks just makes me ill. What is wrong with these people!!!

My heart goes out to the 1000’s of people who have been directly affected by the loss of a child, parent, sibling, teacher, friend, etc, etc, etc. And all those who continue to suffer thru painful rehabilitation, burn treatments and whose lives have been irreversibly changed because of the evilness of this man. Their pain seeing Arafat glorified, without the mere mention of his victims can only be the proverbial salt to their wounds. I think the French, South Africa, and Indonesia showed their true colors by sending their presidents and heads of state to Cairo. I’m not surprised that Jack Straw would attend. The US Jewish community will never forgive William Burns for his presence. There is even word that in Paris that they plan to name a street in his honor. Is it so easy to turn a blind eye to history?

So when I get distressed about life, I try to look at the positive. Concentrating our energy on so much evil is not healthy. Getting all worked up over it is also not helpful. So I began to think of some of the people who I know that have made a positive difference in our world. Simple people who have made profound impacts on the lives of individuals, families and communities. I did not have to go to far in my thinking.

My dear friend Shimmy who is one of the most talented and dedicated youth educators I have ever met. He is a computer programming genius, who could have made millions with the knowledge of his trade. Instead, he founded Heart Mind and Soul. HMS is an organization that helps teens improve their self-confidence and motivation, develop and have closer relationships, and work toward making their dreams happen. And then there is my wonderful friend Rabbi Elie, an outstanding rabbinic scholar who is creating a revolution in adult outreach, by presenting Judaism in an understanding and exciting way at KJ on the upper East Side of Manhattan. And then there is our equally talented friend Rabbi Mark who founded and directs the very successful Manhattan Jewish Experience on the Upper West Side.

There is my other friend Rabbi Elly who is an outstanding and dynamic Rav in his community of Potomac, MD. His enthusiasm and passion for Yiddishkeit and for people are evident in all of his interactions with his congregation and the people of his community. Rav Elly has a unique ability to gently, yet aggressively charge his congregants and community to take their Yiddishkeit more seriously. I am inspired by his drashot each week as he elegantly and seamlessly weaves his themes with Torah issues with those confronting the world and his community. There is our dear friend Sarah who is an insightful educator and writer who has inspired so many with her knowledge of the mundane and the sublime. She won the hearts of the tough kids in Harlem and long ago inspired Jewish teens with her deep thoughts and stimulating educational programs. Our friend Sarri, the daughter of a Jew Jersey Senator who after surviving the terrorist attack in Jerusalem on Bus #14, made the difficult decision to temporarily move back to the US to work for the One Family Fund, an incredible organization that has been remarkable at providing real and meaningful support and services to the victims of terror and their families.

There is my Special Ed who has demonstrating how much a person can grow and what youth leadership is all about. There is our friend Lenny, the King of Shlock who has revolutionized Jewish music and has brought countless (yes, the number is countless and grows each day) individuals back to Judaism with his whimsical and Torah educational lyrics. There is our one and only G-Man. And you have to see him, know him and love him. Eitan G is an incredibly talented young man, who has put Jewish into Rap, really! And as my wife would say, "the boy can move!" There is our beloved Devorah who is so dedicated to her kids that even after leaving her official responsibilities, her caring continues to offer encouragement to so many. There are our friends David and Zehava who we have been friends with for so long, and only appropriate that we made aliya together. The famed Treppenwitz offers timely wisdom, humor, blinding flashes of insight and most of all honesty, to so many people. My friend Jeff, a friend from Brokline who is a columnist for the Boston Globe. He continues to tell it straight and nailed it on the head once again for the world to read, and the world does read what he writes.

Look around. You are surrounded by very special people. Ordinary people who have done extraordinary things. To let Arafat continue to monopolize the headlines only perpetuates his crimes. Remember instead his victims and those who live on and have struggled in the face of adversity. Remember, support and encourage those who make a positive difference in peoples lives, those who are remembered for the good of what they do and how that will effect the generations. In the end, Arafat name will only join with the myriad of Haman’s, Hitler’s, Titus’s and the others who made the Jews suffer, but who failed (and will always fail) to achieve their goals. All those of our friends above and so many others are achieving their goals. Their contributions to our world will have ripple effects forever. When I am feeling down, these are the thoughts that inspire me each and every day.

An appropriate response

2004-11-11T15:59:00.000+02:00

Jewish Group to Mourn Arafat’s Victims as the Father of Modern Day Terrorism Dies
15:30 Nov 11, '04 / 27 Cheshvan 5765

(IsraelNN.com) The following statement was released by Rabbi Avi Weiss, president of the Amcha organization, ahead of the rally in memory of the victims of Yasser Arafat’s life of terrorism.

“The Jewish tradition teaches us ‘when an enemy falls, never rejoice.’ Still, it must be said – Yasser Arafat was one of the most vile people of modern times. Arafat is responsible for the deaths of more Jews than anyone since Adolph Hitler; Arafat is responsible for the deaths of American diplomats and civilians; and Arafat is responsible for the deaths of countless numbers of his own people. For all of these and other crimes against humanity, he can never be forgiven.

“Just as the world will be much better off without Osama Bin Laden, so too is the world much better off without Yasser Arafat.

The memorial will be held outside today (Thursday) outside the PLO Mission to
the UN in New York City, at Park Avenue and 65th Street, at 17:00.

Lessons from a shoe shine

2004-11-10T23:51:00.000+02:00

I like to get my shoes shined. I always have. Sitting on that big chair with your feet up, sort of feels like a rich and famous life style thing to do. I think that my enjoyment may relate back to when I was a kid and we would travel as a family. My Dad would always get his shoes shined. He would wear cowboy boots and would have to pay the extra $1 for boots. I may like getting my shoes shined because its what my father always did? So when I travel, I like to get my shoes shined.

The shoe shiner people are a rare breed. You can tell the ones who really like what they do. How they take great pride in the new shine, the like new appearance they provide after a job well done. I like the shoe shiners who are old. They seem to possess a rare wisdom that can only come from meeting 100’s of people each day, only once for a maximum of 3-4 minutes at a time. When they inevitably ask me where I’m from, my reply that I live in Israel often invokes a biblical or religious reply. Many of these older men, are black and often seem to be devout to their religions.

On my last trip, I could tell this shoe shiner was very special. His very dark, wrinkly black skin, bald head and huge smile was so welcoming after a very long flight. Shine sir? You bet! Then came the inevitable question. “Where you from?” Israel I replied. “So, you’re a friend of Arafat?” And all of a sudden I began to worry about where this next 3 minutes of conversation was going. Arafat is not my friend, I replied. “Yeh, I hear that,” he said. Whew! I survived that question. Then he asked, “Do you believe that Jews can be Christians.” And I began to worry about the next 2 minutes. I carefully responded that I believe that people should be devoted to the religion of their birth, and a person who believes in G-d is better off than those who believe in nothing. The man looked up at me and said, “You a wise man, a very wise man.” Then he started speaking to himself. “Lots of war, lots of death, killing, many of your people have died over there because that Arafat man. He’s a bad man, a really bad man.” “But you know,” he said, as he put the finishing touches on my shoes, that regained their luster, “ the real war is within. We’re all fighting an internal war. That’s the real war. That’s the important war.” As I gave him $5, I smiled and said, you’re the wise man, a very wise man.

There are many battles we face each day. Some are on the battlefield some are within. The news today, tomorrow and the next will feature the modern day Haman,/Hitler. We should not loose sight that as we celebrate the demise of our modern day Amalek, to focus as much attention if not more on our own internal struggles and doing what is right in the eyes of G-d.

The democratic process is a beautiful thing

2004-11-10T23:07:00.000+02:00

Well it’s great to be back in the Holy Land. This trip took me through 5 states and 7 cities in 7 days. It was wild being in the US during the election. I happened to be in Ohio, which became the center of the world for a few hours on election eve. I voted absentee in my (old) hometown city hall on Monday and avoided all the long lines, highly recommended for future voting. Although I’m not sure if my vote was ever counted, I was happy to be a part of the democratic process. Listening to the radio in the car, I was still uneasy about all the campaign ads. So negative, trying to sway and influence the last undecided voters. Some times it was the same message, time after time, after time, and then the sound bite, “I’m George Bush and I approve of this message.” Or “I’m John Kerry and I approve of this message.” The messages I did like were the ones that encouraged people to vote. I think many people heard that message. The democratic process is a beautiful thing.

The bloating disappeared

2004-10-30T18:59:00.000+02:00

My wife has returned after a 11 days of visiting friends and family in the US. As our good friend Emily said, “your two weeks as a woman are over.” Upon hearing that, my wife said, “you want to feel like a man.” I said, “Yes, please make me feel like a man.” My wife then responded, “Take out the garbage!” And the bloating disappeared, just like that!! I am off to the US for a week and will be off-line. Return next week for more Divrei Moshe. Blessings for a wonderful week.

Does G-d Play Baseball? This may not be what you think it is.

2004-10-28T15:19:00.000+02:00

When I was in Yeshiva, I recall clearly the day our rebbe, told us of how G-d continues his active role in world events. G-d did not create the world in 6 days and then go on vacation. He created the world continues to be a part of every nuance in the universe. “Behind every blade of grass there is an angel," he would say. "And if you had the right type of telescope.” (yes, he did mean microscope, we all laughed) he continued, “you would be able to see them.” Behind every blade of grass, Wow, that’s a lot of angles. I used to get nervous mowing the lawn. (apologies for the stream on conciseness) But anyway, today across the globe, many newspaper headlines proclaim, “Red Sox fans prayers finally answered.” This bothers me. No it’s not that we shouldn’t have prayed for the sox to win. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. Actually, I think many of us are bothered when we hear of an athlete who accepts too much credit for his talents and not give credit to the One Above, who gave him his/her skills and abilities. If the players recognize it, we can certainly pray for it. So then what bothers me? When I was growing up in our small town, the rabbi would often speak of people who would complain to him, “Rabbi, I prayed to G-d and G-d did not answer my prayers.” To this the rabbi would wisely respond, “That G-d always answers prayers, sometimes though, he gives us an answerer we don’t want and sometimes he says no.” To say that our prayers were finally answered, implies that they were not answered. For the last 86 years, our prayers have been answered; we just did not get the answer we wanted.

3 years ago, in October I came to Israel for business purposes. I also came to scout out some communities where we could live and opportunities for work prior to our aliya. Our trip was scheduled at the height of the intafada and there were unfortunately peguim, bus bombings, and sniper attacks on a frequent basis. It was terrible. My children (who at the time were 12, 10 and 9) were concerned about my safety. They listen to the news, understand and knew that going to Israel meant being in the place where all this was happening. They were scared. (They don’t feel at all scared living here now) Before I left, I told the children I would be going to the Kotel, the Western Wall and they could write a prayer on a piece of paper and I would put the paper in the Kotel. This is a tradition that goes back 100’s of years. They could in essence, write a letter to G-d. They each took a paper, pen and began to commit their personal prayers to print. When they were finished, I put them in my talis bag so I would not forget them.

Many hours and 6,000 miles later, I found myself standing in awesome Kotel plaza. A place unlike any other place on earth. A place replete with incredible history and palpable spirituality. After the vatikin (sunrise) minyan I made my way to the wall to say my own personal prayer and deliver the messages to G-d from my children. As I was about to put their kapitlach/messages in the wall, I suddenly had the urge to read what they had written. (I though for a second about invasion of privacy but that was about it) I wanted to know what do our kids think about, what do they pray for. How do they feel G-d plays a role in their lives, something my wife tries to impresses upon them each day. My girl’s kapitlach were beautiful.
“Please HaShem, let my Abba have a safe trip, let our family have a successful aliya. Help me to make new friends, let everyone in the family be healthy.”
My son kapitlach was equally impressive. “Please HaShem, let Abba have a safe trip, let our family have a successful aliya, help me to do well in my new school, help Abba find a job,” and then he concluded, “and if you can, please help the Red Sox win the world series.” I almost passed out. I’m not sure if it was because a sox victory was something he prayed for, or if it was how he wrote, “if you can.” At 12 years old my son understood that HaShem plays a role in world events, from the mundane to the sublime. What nachas! I delivered their messages and left the Kotel, deeply moved and inspired from the place and from this personal experience.

But the Sox lost the following year in the traditional anguishing fashion. Did HaShem not answer his prayers? Did He ignore the honest, sincere and passionate prayers of my 12-year-old son? My explanation to my tearful son was, HaShem absolutely answered your prayers! G-d always answers our prayers. But His answer must have been, there is always next year.

So this is next year! And the Sox won in a fashion that can only be explained by nothing less than Divine intervention. There really were angles in the outfield and this year they played for the red sox!

So many things happen in our lives and in the world today that are way beyond explanation and our limited human comprehension. That HaShem controls the world is obvious to some and questioned by others. It is not 86 years of baseball history that reveals this! Life itself reveals this each and every day. Why have we struggled for so many years, why the long wait? Do these questions sound like they have been asked before? Could these same questions and pleas apply to something else we have been yearning for? Have we not been yearning for a lot longer than 86 years? Lessons can be taught in very subtle ways. We need to pay attention to the sometimes subtle, sometimes bang over the head lessons that are sent our way. We have to be sure our priorities are in check and that we express and pray with the same enthusiasm for what is really important in life. Mazal Tov to Red Sox Nation! My we take from this, that our prayers are indeed always answered.

Clearing her throat, lets hope!

2004-10-27T10:58:00.000+02:00

This is not a sports blog, just a blog written by someone who is a big sports fan. In Red Sox universe, (no longer nation) we know more than anyone that it aint over until it's over. We have only been able to dream about the fat lady. Yes, people we dream about the fat lady. In our real life nightmares, we thought we had heard her in the distance, only to learn that she was preparing to sing for someone else. Sniff, sniff. Yes, those are real tears. Sox fans, we have not heard the fat lady sing to us for a very, very long time. It seems as if she is about to clear her throat and sing us a happy tune. All those who are concerned about kol isha from the fat lady, the Seridei Eish should address your concern. But why the fat lady? Click here.

At least I think I'm funny

2004-10-27T08:55:00.000+02:00

Zahava, the strength and better half of famed blogger Treppenwitz, posted a message that she passionately supported my post that fathers don’t baby-sit their own kids. She, like so many graciously offered to lend a hand while the Mrs. is away. I thought my response to her was funny, so I'll share it with you:

Hi Zahava,
Thanks for the positive feedback. I think we'll make it. IY"H, The Mrs. will be home before Shabbat. The only real casualty is an empty fridge. I can by milk eggs, MEAT, but that's about it. The fridge is so empty, I think I'll go clean it......, but first I must finish my mending. I'm feeling a bit bloated. AHHHHH what has happened to me :)

Lets hope it's in the Cards!

2004-10-26T13:35:00.000+02:00

From a friend who is actually a Cardinals fan....

Twas the night to beat the Yankees,
And all through the nation,
Not a single sole was thinking,
Of 85 years of damnation....
Cause this is the year,
To end our bad luck,
And even if it don't,
The YANKEES STILL SUCK!!!
On Damon! On Nixon! On Manny and Kap-lah!
On V-tek! On Meuller! On Ortiz and Mill-ah!
Carry this team and make some noise,
Cause everyone knows A-rods a sissy and Jeter Likes Boys!
To the TRUE fans of BOSTON,
Get a beer and a cup,
And say it again boys,
COWBOY UP!!

!!!GO SOX!!!

The Power of the Cloth

2004-10-26T00:15:00.000+02:00

As I had mentioned in an earlier post, I travel quite a bit. Over the course of the last 10 months, I have traveled to almost 60 cities across the US and Canada. I was even sent to Paris for 3 days (Paris is way overrated). The travel is hard on me and the family, but the way we look at it, is that we are better off than about 10% of the Israeli society who are unemployed. When traveling you meet interesting people, on the plane, in the terminals, rest stops and at the mall. You see the contrast of how people live, their different attitudes, their friendliness, the way people drive, from the West Coast, the Mid West, New England, etc. It is quite fascinating. And there is always a travel story, yes, always a story.

On my last trip, in a week I had meetings in 16 cities, 4 states and 2 Canadian Provinces. I began my trip on a Sunday morning in NY and my plan was to be in Halifax, NS for shabbos. During the week I traveled by car to communities in Connecticut, Rhode Island and Massachusetts, I was in Portland (stopping in Freeport on the way) and Bangor Maine on Thursday. I drove over 1,000 miles that week. Friday morning I had a reservation on the Cat Ferry which was scheduled to leave at 8:00am for the 3 hour journey to Falmouth, NS. From Falmouth, I would drive 180 miles to Halifax. I arrived at the Cat Ferry terminal gate at 7:45am and the gate was closed. I went into the office, proceeded to the desk and exclaimed, “I have a reservation on the 8am ferry.” The clerk looked at me and said, “I’m sorry sir, the boarding ramp has been raised, I’m afraid you’ll have to take the next ferry.” The next ferry I said, When is that? “Tomorrow morning sir.” Tomorrow morning wont work for me, I said. “Well,” continued the clerk, “you can drive to Halifax.” Drive, how long is the drive? “Well if you leave now, and you drive straight, you can make it to Halifax in 10 hours.” 10 hours! I though for a moment…Shabbos was at about 5:45pm. I would never make it. I needed to be in Halifax for shabbos. That was the plan.
So, I took off my Red Sox hat, which is my travel hat, and said with respect and conviction, “Miss, I am a Rabbi. I need to be in Halifax for the Sabbath. The Sabbath begins at sundown today. Taking the ferry tomorrow morning wont work for me, and driving 10 hours wont work either. I need to be on THAT Ferry. She looked at me for a moment, a moment that seemed like forever. She picked up her two-way radio, pressed the button and said, “Stan, this is the front desk. Stan do you copy?" Stan replied, "Copy." The clerk continued, "Stan, we have a Rabbi here. Can you bring the down the loading ramp?

Shabbos in Halifax was beautiful.

4 minutes, 17 seconds

2004-10-25T13:54:00.000+02:00

I love bath time. I always have. It’s the best bonding time. When the kids are all soaped up, slippery, screaming about water in their eyes and in their ears and they’re squeaky clean, I just love it! I have been the primary bather for our children since they were babies. Actually, I only take over after the belly button thing falls off. The thing is that when it comes to bathing kids, you only get a certain number of years to enjoy this privilege. For obvious reasons, as the children get older, they gain their sense of modesty and this is a good thing.

You can get very dirty in around here, especially in school. The kids play in the dirt, there is lots of sand and the cats are there, ugg, it drives me crazy. The worst is when they climb into “my bed” with their sandy feet! That puts me over the edge. So after a hard day playing bath time is an end of the day mandatory ritual for our almost 5 year old. Last night as I was taking her out of the tub, my cell phone rang. I quickly wrapped her in her towel, “nice and tight” the way she likes it and put her on my bed and on Abba’s special pillow, one of those temperpedic types. I answered the call. I can’t even remember who it was. But 4 minutes, 17 seconds (on the call timer) later my daughter was snoring away. Because of this call that I can’t even remember, I missed out on reading Go-Dog-Go and Clifford for the 700th time! I’ll have to think about that the next time my phone rings.

Fathers Do Not baby-sit their children

2004-10-25T00:15:00.000+02:00

So my wife has been away in the US for the last week. One week and 14 hours to be exact! Only 5 more days until she returns and I think I can hold the fort until then. This is her first trip to the US in over a year and the longest time that she has been away from the family since we have been married. I travel all the time and with my new job, I have traveled overseas almost every month since January. So now you’re thinking (if anyone else is reading this) now you know what it’s like to be a single parent. Now you know what it is like when you leave your wife with the kids and all the family responsibility, gallivanting across the planet. (I’ll describe my gallivanting another time) But I’m not sure why this is really so bad. Let me explain.

Over the last week, I have received countless of calls each day from former students and neighbors asking if everything is OK, and if we need anything. People have stopped me in the street and asked me if we have enough food? Do I need help with the cooking, laundry, shopping, etc? When I was at the makolet, (mini market) the other day, looking dazed and confused, someone actually offered to shop for me! “Just call and let me know what you need. Milk, eggs, anything you need, I’ll pick it up for you.” People here have been surprised when I said that everything is fine. I have done the laundry, grilled dinner almost every night, cooked and grilled for shabbat and remembered my daughters ballet shoes (Yes, a friend called to remind me to put them in my daughters back pack today) I have made lunches every day, made sure the kids showered, helped with the homework, (did I say that I grilled dinner?) set up a few play dates, and I brought treats to my daughters Gan (kindergarten) on Friday because she was the Ima shel Shabbat, The Shabbos Mommy!

But this comment was the kicker, “So your wife is away… and you’re babysitting?” To this I responded, “Fathers don’t baby-sit their own children.” Being a father is the greatest joy. Having to do it alone for a short period of time, has given me an even greater appreciation of what my wife, a professional stay at home Mom’s has to contend with each day when I am away. Well maybe. I’m sure that when I am traveling, she does not get the calls and wonderful offers from friends and neighbors. She’ll shop, cook, do the laundry and deal with all the wonders of motherhood until I return to share these (well most of these) responsibilities together. We make a great team.

Keeping things in perspective

2004-10-24T09:47:00.000+02:00

The Red Sox beat the Yankees. Yes, it is an exciting time for those of us in Red Sox Nation. I have waited many years to finally see this happen. I have vivid memories from my childhood, when the Red Sox were oh, so close including 75, 78, 86, 2003. Growing up a Red Sox fan meant having to endure the diatribes of Yankee fans when we would go to summer camp, trips and away to Grossinger’s for Passover. Yankee fans were relentless and when invoking 86 years of history, they were mean. I am not sure if the greatest vindication for a Sox fan is that the Sox came back to win in historic fashion or if the Yankees lost and choked in even greater historic fashion. We still have 3 games left to win and as a Sox fan, you know that the game is not over until that fat lady sings. Who is that fat lady anyway? She must have great self-esteem! Anyway, I will certainly not celebrate (completely) until the last strike and that long waited, last out. Things can take a turn very fast, and I like to tell my son; there is a lot of game left to be played.
But why the rivalry, why all the years of denigration and nastiness?
My grandfather and his brother used to share a story with us that he had heard from his hometown Rav, Rabbi Osher Kahn many years ago. Rabbi Kahn used to tell the story of envy. He would say that envy is healthy and can be used for good. You can envy someone’s scholarship; you can envy someone’s good fortune. If this envy makes you want to learn more and achieve more, you can take this negative character trait and use it to motivate yourself. But then Rabbi Kahn would relate the following story: There was once a farmer. This farmer did very well. He had a good crop and was reasonably successful at his trade. One day a wealthy man came to him. The wealthy man offered the farmer a deal. He said, if you want one million dollars, I’ll give you a million dollars. If you want another 1000 acres of land, I’ll give you another 1000 acres. But there is one condition. The rich man then related his one condition. He said to the farmer, what ever you want, what ever you request, just know that what ever I give to you, I will give your competitor up the street, DOUBLE! If you ask for a million dollars, I’ll be giving him two million. If you ask for another 1000 acres, I'll be giving your competitor 2000 acres. The farmer thought for a moment and responded to the wealthy man, “poke out one of my eyes!” This Rabbi Kahn said is real envy. It’s not that you want it. That is normal and human nature. It’s that you don’t want the other guy to have it. That is wrong. That is envy. Yankee fans are full of bad envy. After all these years as Sox fans we may have some bad envy in us as well. It’s negative and unhealthy energy, even if it is fun. Yankees lost and Yes, we can chant Yankees SUCK! OK, I’m guilty and at least for now, it feels good. But we have to move on because healthy envy will better serve the Sox in their next triumph.
My wife’s family is originally from St. Louis, so now we have a real family conflict. I have no conflict! But my son, the mentch and his great-grandfather solved the conflict in the following way. In a discussion before the series (ironically, they had the same discussion before the Patriots-Rams Super Bowl two years ago) my son said, “if the Cardinals win, I’d be happy for you.” His great-grandfather responded, “and if the Red Sox win I’ll be happy for you!” After the Pat's won the super bowl, Grampa (a Rams fan) called our son and said, “We, won!” May the best (Red Sox) team win.

Hello and welcome to my blog

2004-10-23T22:43:00.000+02:00

Hello and welcome to my blog. This is very uncharacteristic of me to have a blog. I have started to notice that many people have blogs. My wife just started one. She is a great writer and is not afraid to put herself out there. She has no problem expressing and “sharing” her thoughts, feelings, etc. with the rest of the world. This is very healthy for her. I on the other hand, do not consider myself such a great writer. I am a terrible speller, on the level of embarrassing. I am scared to death of expression. Well not scared to death but it’s just not for me…. Ok, scared to death! What is in my head should probably just stay there. I often say that I have done a very good job at suppressing my childhood, and that is probably a good thing. Denial can sometimes be the safest place to be. Some people out there have no one who will listen to them. They yell, scream, write and they are ignored. A blog is a great creation for people. Kol haKavod -Honor to the people who have developed this technology. Anyone can publish one. It’s free and walah, the world can now hear your voice or experience your quill. Although I have noticed that this can also be dangerous. In this environment where free speech is protected, sometimes it is not used responsibly. Maybe certain people are ignored for good reason. A blog gives them a forum or better yet, a podium. Maybe for this reason a blog is not such a good thing. Well as with most things, we have the choice to use what we have been given for good and or not good. I have never had a problem with people listening to me. This is not an egotistical statement. I have somehow always found myself in leadership positions. Whether in business or in my work with the Jewish community, I have held very public positions with great responsibility. Getting people to listen has never been a problem for me. So why am I venturing into a world of expression that I so often try to avoid? Do I have something to say? Do I have something I need people to hear? Maybe I’m just writing for myself. Well, I could say that my wife is having a good influence on me. She always does or at least tries to. We have been married for 16 years. She is my greatest critic and yet, I would say that she is also my self-esteem. What I mean is that the ideal marriage is not one of total agreement in all matters. We don’t agree of most things. It’s funny sometimes. But she is doing her job! Often it is the wife’s responsibility to appose her husband and prevent him from acting impulsively, or to help him to achieve a common goal by questioning, criticizing and discussion. The verse in the Torah, when G-d creates a wife for Adam (Genesis 2:18) I will make an, ezer k’negdo, a helper corresponding to him. This means literally, that there are times a wife can best be a support to her husband by being against him. But only if the man is worthy….. (Talmud yevomos 63a;Rashi) So I guess I am worthy because with this, she is the best and I love her for it. So I have written enough here for my first blog post. I hope to write often but I travel a lot and sometimes I don’t have so much time to write. I’ll try because my head is full.